Best friends or lovers
by KathrynValmont
Summary: On Hiatus Ani and Padme are best friends who have reunited after eleven years because padme is getting married. Padme finds herself slowly falling in love with the person who isn't the groom. Can she admit she loves Ani before its too late?
1. beggining

Summary: Padme and Anakin have been best friends their entire lives. Now he's back in Naboo to attend her soon to be wedding. Their feelings aren't so "friendly" anymore. Will Padme go through wit her wedding or will she admit she loves Ani before it's too late.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Padme Amidala of Naboo raced through her house. This was the day that she had been waiting for. It had been too longer since she had seen her best friend Anakin.  
  
She could just imagine how much he would have changed. She knew his blue eyes would always still be the playful ones, with the smirk she adored so much.  
  
She smiled to herself. She was just so happy. Eleven years had been far too long. She had missed him so much. She longed to be enveloped in his comforting embrace.  
  
So much still had to be done before he arrived. She still had to tidy up the house a bit and make the dinner so that they would have something to eat, especially since he would be tired from his long journey.  
  
Padme remembered the last time she had seen him. They had been twelve years old.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Padme: Do you really have to go and become a Jedi? I am going to miss you so much.  
  
Anakin: Me too.  
  
Padme: Lets be best friends forever.  
  
Anakin: We will be and if not we'll always be friends forever.  
  
Padme: I know.  
  
Anakin: I have to go now.  
  
Padme remembered the fierce hug that they had shared.  
  
END OF FLASHBACK.  
  
She was finally ready for his arrival. But she didn't know what she wasn't ready for.  
  
*********  
  
Anakin walked up the steps to her familiar house. He was nervous. He knew she wouldn't recognize him at all. He wondered if he would even recognize her. He hoped he did. How he had missed her! There was so much he wanted to tell her.  
  
In their last conversation she had made it more than obvious that she had a lot to tell him. He had taken a break from his jedi training to visit her for awhile before she got married.  
  
Anakin smiled at this thought. His best friend was getting married. He couldn't be happier for her. He had to really meet this man.  
  
He would also be staying for his wedding. He was the person she told first. In fact she had even told him before. She had said she wasn't sure she should get married. He had told her that if she loved him she should marry him.  
  
*******  
  
Padme bolted out of her chair when she heard the knock. That had to be Anakin. She was so happy and scared at the same time. Finally when she had snapped herself out of it she answered the door.  
  
Instead of looking eye to eye, as they had done during their child hood days Padme found herself looking up at the Six- foot tall man.  
  
"Anakin," she whispered as if his name were sacred.  
  
Anakin's face broke out into a grin she had always known and had always loved.  
  
She found herself in his warm embrace. She couldn't get over how much he had changed. He had become so handsome; even she had to admit it.  
  
Most women in the galaxy who had met him and knew her had said he was irresistible. But she had simply told them it wasn't like that with them. He was her best friend. He was like her brother, as she was like his sister.  
  
He finally pulled back.  
  
"You've changed so much," said Padme.  
  
"Oh, really? You approve," asked Anakin.  
  
He crocked his eyebrow up causing her to smile and laugh.  
  
"Yes, you certainly have become handsome," she said.  
  
"As you have become beautiful, my friend," said Anakin.  
  
She smiled as she escorted him inside. She tried to ignore the fast beating of her heart.  
  
*******  
  
The two friends were eating dinner together in happiness.  
  
"So, when he came back from the war, he proposed."  
  
Anakin smirked at her.  
  
"Well as long as he makes my little friend happy, I'm happy."  
  
Padme scowled at the use of the old nickname. She had hated it then, and she hated it now. So what if he was half a year older?  
  
"You know how much I hate that nickname!"  
  
"Ah, yes. How is little sister or little Padme?"  
  
He smiled knowing he had caused her to get angrier. He could tell she was not very happy with him by the way her face was red.  
  
"Anakin," she said in a slow warning tone.  
  
"Okay, okay- li- Padme."  
  
She gave him a sweet fake smile.  
  
"That's better. So, is there anyone special in your life? From what I have heard you have gotten quite the reputation. Please, share," said Padme.  
  
"Well, women love me. What else is there to say? But I never found the right woman."  
  
"Maybe, you will soon. I actually could set you up with some of my own friends," said Padme.  
  
"No! Remember Sache when we were nine? She kissed me on the day of your ninth birthday! She wouldn't leave me alone for days. She acted as if we were married or something. There is no way you are setting me up with any of your friends!"  
  
Padme laughed.  
  
"Yes, she told me about that. For a whole month she believed the two of you were soulmates."  
  
Anakin and Padme told stories together. The whole night was filled with happiness and laughter. Padme felt safe again. She was with the person who would kill himself before letting anyone else hurt her. That was one of the many things she loved about him.  
  
She couldn't wait until her husband to be met him. She knew he would like Anakin as much as she did. Well, tommorow she would have them introduced so they could become good friends as well.  
  
**********  
  
Bail approached his fiance and her friend the next morning.  
  
"Ah, Honey, this must be your good friend Anakin Skywalker. It's a pleasure to meet you Anakin," said Bail.  
  
Anakin smiled warmly at the man.  
  
"It's good to finally meet you as well. Padme has told me a lot about you," said Anakin.  
  
"Yeah, same here," said Bail.  
  
"Oh, all good I hope," said Anakin wearily.  
  
The three adults laughed together.  
  
"Well, at least what she told me. Since you are such a good friend of hers consider yourself a good friend of mine. I would like you to be my best man," said Bail.  
  
"Really? I accept your invitation of friendship but I'm not sure if I really should be your best man. Shouldn't that title go to your best friend," asked Anakin.  
  
"Please, Anakin. I really would like you to be my best man, and I know this would mean so much to Padme," said Bail.  
  
Padme threw Anakin a pleading look.  
  
"Alright. I accept."  
  
"Wonderful. Now I insist you two come with me to breakfast," said Bail.  
  
"Oh, you two go. Have a good time. I'll stay here. I want to remain out of the way as much as possible," said Anakin.  
  
"Nonsense," said Bail and Padme at the same time.  
  
"No, really. You two can go without me. Have a good time," said Anakin.  
  
"No, I won't take no for an answer," said Bail.  
  
********  
  
Padme and Anakin was now back at the Naberrie House.  
  
"Wow, Anakin. You were such a gentleman all day. I was impressed," said Padme.  
  
Anakin smirked.  
  
"I am almost always a gentleman. It's just that with you it's different," said Anakin.  
  
"Different? How?"  
  
"Well, it's okay with you. You're like my sister," said Anakin.  
  
Padme looked at him. It was like this time she was really seeing him. It was as if she was seeing past the friend who would do anything for her. Right than she was just looking into the face of a handsome man.  
  
"You have grown up so much," said Padme.  
  
"You're just the way I remember you in my dreams."  
  
Padme smiled at him.  
  
"Anakin, don't try to be anyone but yourself," said Padme.  
  
"I would take my own advice if I were you," said Anakin.  
  
Padme couldn't sleep that night. When she did sleep she had dreams of Anakin kissing her and telling her how much he loved her. These dreams deeply confused her because she could never imagine Anakin kissing her like that.  
  
He was her best friend. She didn't like him like that. Yes, they were only friends. Besides she would never love Anakin. She was marrying Bail. She loved Bail.  
  
Padme kept on telling herself this over and over until she fell asleep. But this time her dream was even more disturbing.  
  
Dream:  
  
Padme: Ani! Where are you?  
  
Anakin: Hmm, are you ready for me? It's been eleven years.  
  
Padme: Yes, I want you to be there at my wedding. Be Bail's best man.  
  
Anakin: But you want me to be the groom. You want me to be your husband.  
  
END OF DREAM.  
  
Padme woke once more in sweat. This was not happening. She did not care for Anakin like that. He was only her friend.  
  
But somewhere in her mind her feelings for Anakin had changed. He was no longer just the boy he was her best friend. He was now the grown man she was attracted to.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Was that good? Should I continue? Please I need feedback! I crave feedback! 


	2. Party plan

Summary: Padme realizes she has a crush, while Bail has to go out of town forcing Anakin to be Padme's date for a dinner party in her wedding's honor  
  
It was Sunday morning and Padme was hungry. She knew it would take her maids a long time to cook food. Just as she was getting grumpy about this when she smelled food next to her table. It smelled like blue berry pancakes with muffins. It was her favorite.  
  
She opened her eyes and looked at the tray on her desk. There was a single red rose with a note attached to it. She smiled as she knew who it was.  
  
Padme-  
  
I went out into town. I will be home later. Here's breakfast, enjoy. We can go down to the beach later and hang out.  
  
Always, Anakin  
  
Padme smiled at the note. Anakin was so sweet. He really cared about her. She knew he would never care for her more than just a friend.  
  
Padme sighed. There was no way she liked him like that. They were just friends. She was getting married. He was a Jedi. She was a Senator.  
  
But no matter what Padme said there it always was. Ever since she had that dream two weeks ago she had never looked at Anakin in the same way.  
  
She liked the things he did for her. She liked the way he treated her. She liked how he made her feel as if she were the most important person in the world. She loved how he always put his concerns under her own.  
  
No matter what she couldn't let her feelings get in the way. They were best friends and she would rather kill herself before allowing a simple crush to kill that friendship.  
  
Then, there was Bail. He loved her. She cared for him. He loved her, but if Anakin were in love with her, he would love her better.  
  
Bail didn't come into the room to give her a breakfast to wake up to. He loved her, but not in the way she wanted and needed to be loved in.  
  
She didn't care for the ways of the world. She didn't care for Bail's ways of winning her over. Money didn't matter to her. All that really mattered to her was that her husband loves her.  
  
******  
  
"You know what's funny? I had a crush on you when we were eight," said Anakin in laughter.  
  
"You did? And you didn't tell me? Why ever not," asked Padme.  
  
Anakin scoffed.  
  
"Gee, what was I supposed to say? By the way Padme, I have the hugest crush on you have a nice day?"  
  
Padme laughed at that.  
  
"Well, I kind of see your point now," said Padme.  
  
"Oh well. That was a long time ago. It was a rediculess crush. Now you are getting married. I am so happy for you. My sister is getting married," said Anakin excitedly.  
  
"I am not your sister," said Padme.  
  
"Alright! I know that. I just think of you as my sister because we've known eachother so long. We might as well be siblings. Hell, we practically are, just not in name."  
  
"No! We aren't! Stop saying that!"  
  
"Alright."  
  
Anakin wondered why she was pissed.  
  
*********  
  
"Anakin! Help me plan this party!"  
  
Anakin looked at her as if he were truly afraid.  
  
"Oh no! There is no way I am helping plan a party. I can not believe you even talked me into going. I really don't want to dress up in a tuxedo. Padme this is a new found form of abuse," said Anakin.  
  
Padme rolled her eyes.  
  
"Anakin! You are going end of discussion!"  
  
"Yes Mam!"  
  
"Now, that is much better," said Padme.  
  
"Okay, so what exactly is this party going to be like?"  
  
"Oh you know, the kind you have to attend with Obi-wan on a regular basis," said Padme.  
  
"Really? Is this necessary?"  
  
"Bail insisted upon it," said Padme.  
  
"Bail insisted upon it? Wow."  
  
Padme sighed knowing exactly what he meant. He couldn't believe she was actually letting someone do something she didn't like.  
  
Then the com link went off. As Soon as Padme answered it Bails face showed.  
  
"Honey, I am so sorry there is an emergency meeting. I won't be able to make it to the party next week."  
  
"Oh, that's okay."  
  
They said their good-byes and turned off their com links.  
  
"Now can you cancel the party since he won't be here," asked Anakin.  
  
"Ofcourse not. But now since he can't be there you will be my escort for the evening," said Padme.  
  
"What? There is no way I am going to be the center of attention for god knows how long! I can't go!"  
  
"Come on! This would mean a lot to me. I would look foolish being there by myself. I need you to go with me. I am begging you Anakin," cried Padme.  
  
"Fine! I am such a sucker when it comes to you."  
  
"Thankyou!"  
  
She threw her arms around him and stayed there for a second. She realized later that Anakin was olding her like she was holding him, like he didn't want to let go.  
  
She had enough to worry about, with her feelings for him. The last thing in the world she really needed was for him to return her feelings. It would make it so much more complicated to resist what she was feeling.  
  
"Anakin."  
  
"Uh- Padme I should- yeah. You know."  
  
"Yeah, good idea."  
  
Both of them tried to ignore the electricity they felt when they had hugged. It would be hard at the party when they would be dancing in eachother's arms.  
  
Padme watched as he walked outside.  
  
Little did she know that after the party nothing would ever be the same between her and Anakin. 


	3. stolen kisses

Summary: A stolen kiss at the party changes feelings  
  
Anakin slicked back his unruly hair. He speculated that he looked as good as any other gentleman that would be there. At least he hoped he did. He didn't want to embarrass Padme in any way. Tonight was her night. He would be damned if it was ruined on his account. Everything should be perfect for her. She deserved the best out of life.  
  
Padme knocked on his door. She knew he'd be ready on time. Anakin was like that. He was always ready for anything when he was supposed to.  
  
She couldn't take her eyes off of him as he opened his door. He looked so handsome. She knew she was staring, and that it was rude but she couldn't help it.  
  
"I'm sorry if I don't look right. I can change my outfit if you want," said Anakin.  
  
"No, I might have to kill you if you did. You look perfect tonight," said Padme.  
  
"No, you do," said Anakin as he looked at her gown.  
  
He gown was long but beautiful. It had thin straps, and hugged to her in all the right places.  
  
"I look alright. You look very handsome. I am so lucky that you are my date tonight," said Padme.  
  
"No, it's the other way around," said Anakin.  
  
"Thankyou. Let's go before we are to late," said Padme."  
  
********  
  
He was surprised that after two hours him and Padme had found a way to sneak out into the balcony.  
  
"Wow, I am seriously going to need some aspirin after tonight. It is so overwhelming with all of those people. How do you expect to do it," asked Anakin.  
  
"I don't know. I realized it might be a big job. But I think I can do it?"  
  
"Ofcourse you can! You can do anything. What's happened to the friend you once were? I miss that girl," said Anakin softly.  
  
"She's around. She's just not here tonight. Tonight she belongs to these people," said Padme.  
  
She looked deeply into Anakin's eyes. It was then that she accepted the fact that she liked him more than a friend.  
  
"You don't belong to these people. You deserve to be first. You belong to yourself and to no one else," said Anakin.  
  
Padme smiled up at him.  
  
"That would be nice, but unfortunately we live in the real world," said Padme.  
  
Anakin shook his head.  
  
"But it is true."  
  
"I suppose. But Anakin, it's not going to happen. I've accepted that Bail isn't perfect."  
  
"But you deserve someone who's perfect," said Anakin.  
  
"Who? You?"  
  
"Ofcourse not me! I- I don't even- I don't like you like that," finished off Anakin lamely.  
  
Their faces were close now without them even realizing it. Before Anakin could really comprehend what he was doing he was kissing Padme deeply.  
  
Padme knew she should pull away but she couldn't. It was like she was supposed to stay there.  
  
Finally Anakin pulled away.  
  
"I- I am sorry. I shouldn't have done it."  
  
"No, I shouldn't have. Lets forget this ever happened, okay," asked Padme.  
  
"Okay."  
  
They walked back inside awkwardly knowing they wouldn't forget the best kiss of their lives/  
  
tbc 


	4. another kiss

Summary: Padme and Anakin try to justify their kiss and end up sharing another one.  
  
Anakin sat in his room the next morning by himself. He just needed to be alone for now. He had to figure the whole situation in his head. So many questions remained unanswered to him.  
  
Why did he like her? Why did he kiss her? Why did she kiss him back? When in hell did he have time to develop these feelings for her? Would their friendship survive this? Was he temporarily losing his mind?  
  
Al he knew was that he was falling for her and he couldn't seem to stand up. He lived to see her smile. To him she was an angel. She wonderful as she was beautiful.  
  
Anakin knew she would never be his. She belonged to another. She was getting married to the man she loved. She didn't love him it was just a kiss. She had probably meant it in a friendly way.  
  
*****  
  
Anakin heard her enter the dining room. At least she wasn't avoiding him. That was always a wonderful sign. Anakin didn't know what he would do if she did avoid him.  
  
"About last night-"  
  
"Yeah, I know. It was a mistake. And it just happened," said Anakin.  
  
"Exactly. I'm glad you understand. I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship," said Padme.  
  
"Meen either. Well, here's breakfast," said Anakin.  
  
"You're not going to tell Bail, are you," asked Padme.  
  
"This is me you're talking about. Besides I don't want a king after my life, not my idea of a good time," said Anakin.  
  
They both laughed at this.  
  
"Well, things like this just happen. Besides I don't like you like that. We're just friends."  
  
"Ofcourse. Besides it felt weird last night," supplied Anakin.  
  
They both knew it didn't feel weird. They both knew it couldn't have felt better.  
  
"Oh well I have things to do."  
  
"Yeah, yeah me too."  
  
"Sounds great."  
  
"Yeah, definitely."  
  
As Padme walked by him she almost slipped but he caught her in his embrace. Their faces were mere inches away. Neither one of them dared to say anything, in fear of losing the moment.  
  
For once Padme felt instead of thought. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing. All she knew was that his lips were crushing hers and she was using her hands to draw him closer.  
  
Where had this passion come from? Why did it feel so right? Padme didn't have answers to either one of those questions. She was afraid of what the answers would be. She was afraid to admit that she was falling quickly for her best friend and that she never wanted to stop.  
  
Anakin pulled away. His breathing was deep like he needed air. He stared at Padme not being able to take his eyes off of her. He really didn't want to.  
  
"Anakin," said Padme in a whisper.  
  
"Padme, that wasn't supposed to happen. I was going to let you go, but then I was over come with this passion."  
  
Padme smiled as she drew her friend into a hug.  
  
"It's okay, Anakin. I understand. It's your hormones. You have to be around a girl physically and since I am your only option you had to take it. I completely understand. It's all right. You are my guest here, and I want you to be happy."  
  
Anakin pulled back from her.  
  
"No-"  
  
"Anakin, please, don't lie to me. You forget I know you better than anyone. I know what's going on. I mean we just discussed that our passion isn't real. It can't be because I am getting married and we'll never be together."  
  
Padme walked out of the room flustered. She had no idea she had just left a hurt Anakin.  
  
Anakin sighed. He had given up trying to convince himself he didn't have feelings for her. He knew he did. He knew his feelings for her as a sibling was ever.  
  
Did he love her, maybe. Did he want her, yes. Did he care for her as a friend only, no.  
  
*****  
  
Padme sighed. How did Anakin learn to be such a good kisser. He had no right to be such a good kisser. Bail had never kissed her like that. Hell, Bail only kissed her on the cheek, if even that much.  
  
Bail believed it was morally wrong to so much as kiss her cheek before they married. Kissing her breath away was out of the question.  
  
He sometimes annoyed her with his shit ethics. She wanted passion. She wanted love. She wanted someone who could consume her soul but that she could consume his or her as well. She wanted to be loved, and not just marry for the heck of it.  
  
The truth was Padme was afraid of marrying Bail. What if he couldn't make her happy? What if she suffocated in their marriage? What if it got so bad that she could no longer stand life?  
  
Padme didn't ever want it to be that way. She didn't ever want to dread the next morning or wish that her life would just pass her by. She had always loved life and she never wanted to stop.  
  
She couldn't help but wonder if Anakin could make her happy. When Anakin had kissed her she couldn't think clearly. She couldn't think at all. That's how it was supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to think but just feel.  
  
It was never that way with Bail. He always had to have a reason for everything. To him, life was just one big puzzle he had to find the appropriate pieces to.  
  
It was different with Anakin. He had another point of view on life. To him, life was a game. You learned but you loved. You loved but you got hurt. You got hurt but you had incredible friendships, friendships that lasted forever. With Anakin, she experianced anything and everything.  
  
She couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she was to be Anakin's wife. She knew him so well, that she knew he would never hurt her, but always put her first and above all he would love her.  
  
Padme was so confused she really didn't know what to think anymore. 


	5. a date, jealousy, and the trith

Summary: Bail brings home a lady friend for Ani. Padme is not happy with that, but what happens when she has to prove to Anakin that she really isn't jealous?  
  
Padme was glad that Bail had come home safely. She always worried about him when he went on these unnecessary missions. She wasn't very glad that he was home though. She understood why.  
  
She wondered whom the woman was that had walked inside with him. She was quite pretty. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, which would be the same description as Anakin.  
  
Bail smiled as he came over to Padme.  
  
"Padme, this is my friend Nicole. We went to school together. She came here for the wedding. I have been telling her just how wonderful Anakin is. Don't you think we should introduce them immediately? They would make such a wonderful couple," said Bail.  
  
Padme felt that she just might vomit. Anakin did not need anyone. And if he did it wasn't this dumb woman.  
  
"Yes, ofcourse. Hi Nicole, I am Padme. Welcome to Naboo. I do hope you enjoy your stay here. Anakin should be home shortly. He went out into town today."  
  
As Nicole got settled into her quarters Padme was fuming. Anakin did not need anyone but her. Padme was so angry that she didn't realize what she had just thought.  
  
*******  
  
"You actually like her? I thought she was a bit off. I mean she is pretty and all, but Anakin, she isn't your type," said Padme.  
  
"She isn't my type? Really, Padme, how would you know? I asked her to dinner next week next week and she accepted. She told me she thinks that I am sexy."  
  
Padme made a really disgusted sound.  
  
"Just don't go for her. She is just going to hurt you!"  
  
"Not any more than you have!"  
  
"Excuse me! Just what exactly are you talking about? I have never done anything to ever hurt you!"  
  
"Oh, like hell you haven't! You've kissed me twice and act like it isn't anything, but everytime I walk into the room it's like I feel you're body warm up. It's completely amazing how you respond to me. But the sad part is that you don't even realize it," said Anakin.  
  
"I don't like you in that way! You are like a brother to me! You practically are my brother," cried Padme.  
  
"How can I be like your brother? Normal people don't kiss their siblings. That would be crazy. What I feel for you or what you feel for me is not how siblings would feel towards eachother."  
  
"Anakin stop this! I don't like you. I never will. I love Bail. He is the one and only man I have ever loved. I am so sorry, but I could never think of you in that way. It would just be crazy and weird for the both of us," said Padme.  
  
"If it is just me, I am sorry. If you just kissed me because you felt like it then you're obviously not getting what you need from Bail."  
  
Padme sighed. She knew that on some level Anakin was right. How she hated it when he was right.  
  
"You're wrong. You don't know what you are talking about. You don't even know me," said Padme.  
  
Anakin sighed deeply.  
  
"I don't know you? You might as well be telling me that the sky is falling. I know you inside and out. I know you better than anyone else do has or ever will. I know you're soul. I know it all. I even know you better than you know yourself, and you know I do, Padme," said Anakin.  
  
"Stop this! Just leave me in peace tonight."  
  
"Good night, Padme."  
  
"Anakin, don't leave mad. I am just telling you the truth."  
  
"Oh, Padme. This isn't the truth! The truth is that you have deep feelings for me whether you want them or not," said Anakin.  
  
With that, he walked out of the room. He left her to her thoughts.  
  
********  
  
One Week Later:  
  
Anakin had been sitting in the restaurant for half an hour listening to Nicole go on about this or go on about that. He really wasn't paying attention. She seriously wasn't his type. Damn it! How he hated it when she was right. He was a real sucker. He had fallen for the one woman he couldn't have, the one woman he really wanted, and there really wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Damn it and damn her, thought Anakin.  
  
"Nicole, I've had a really great time tonight."  
  
"You did? Me too. I have never felt so connected to someone in my life. I think we are meant to be together, you know soulmates. I am so glad you feel the exact same way. How come you hardly said a word tonight," asked Nicole.  
  
On the inside Anakin groaned. He hadn't said anything because she talked non stop without a break. She really was too much for him.  
  
"Because I enjoyed your sweet voice."  
  
"Oh, Anakin. I know it's a bit early but I think I might be falling in love with you.  
  
'Oh Gods no!'  
  
"Me too. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you."  
  
*******  
  
"You were right Padme. I don't feel anything for you. We're just best friends."  
  
Padme sighed. She felt greatly burdened and relieved at the same time.  
  
"Yes, you'll find someone you love adventually. It won't be me though."  
  
"Ofcourse not. It's Nicole. I love Nicole!"  
  
"What? I know you don't love her."  
  
"Really? But I do!"  
  
"Stop this Anakin!"  
  
"No, Padme! You stop this!"  
  
Padme was so angry with Anakin that she tried to hit him but he quickly grabbed her hands.  
  
"Let go of my hands!"  
  
"No! You know what I'm going to do."  
  
"I refuse to. I refuse to kiss you. I won't kiss you. I won't!"  
  
"I beg to differ."  
  
With that, Anakin's lips descended upon her own. As he released her hands they tangled through his hair and then rubbed up and down his back.  
  
Anakin didn't want to let go. He pushed her against the wall as he kissed her hard. Then he began to suck on her neck.  
  
"Oh- Anakin- this isn't right."  
  
Anakin stopped and looked her in the eyes. Both of them were flushed and panting for breath.  
  
"What's right anymore Padme? We've been lieing to eachother!"  
  
He kissed her again and Padme kissed him back.  
  
Finally he pulled away with his classic smirk.  
  
"I think you've been kissed enough for one day. Good night my angel."  
  
He left Padme glancing out the door he had left through.  
  
She had been so into it she hadn't heard the figure step into the room, the figure who had seen it all, and wasn't too happy. Finally Padme noticed her.  
  
"It wasn't what it looked like."  
  
Tbc  
  
I need at least five more reviews or else you won't know who It was. It might be Nicole or it might not be.  
  
I'm evil ( 


	6. love

Summary: Sabe and Padme talk about whether she loves oe just likes Anakin.  
  
Padme knew she was really in for it.  
  
"Look it isn't what it looks like. Anakin and I are just best friends," insisted Padme.  
  
"You two have been going at it for months, haven't you," asked Sabe.  
  
"Sabe! Don't be stupid! He's my best friend. He's Anakin, the guy who's my brother practically."  
  
"I saw the way you two kissed, you really like him don't you!"  
  
"No! I don't know how you can even suggest that! I am marrying Bail. I love Bail!"  
  
"Really, who do you think you're fooling? And whom are you trying to convince, you or I? Do you love Anakin? Don't lie to me. I am your best friend," said Sabe.  
  
"I am so confused. When he came back into my life he came back this handsome man whom I couldn't take my eyes off. I tried so hard not to fall for him. He was always so sweet and caring of me. He always took me out, he made breakfast for me. There is no doubt that I like him and am enchanted by him, but love? I really don't know. I mean love takes time. I haven't had the chance to fall in love with him," said Padme.  
  
"Ah, but have you ever heard of love at first site?"  
  
Both laughed at this.  
  
"I'm sorry Sabe, but Babies in diapers don't fall in love. They can't even talk to eachother. This is a real situation."  
  
"Not really, Padme. Either you love Anakin or you don't. If you don't you need to stop sharing kisses with him. If you do you must cancel the wedding or else you may really be in a situation as someone else's wife," said Sabe.  
  
"That's the problem. I really don't know. I just don't want anyone to get hurt," said Padme.  
  
"Honey, that's going to happen no matter what you do. Either you break Anakin's heart or you break Bail's. Either way someone's life is going to change," said Sabe.  
  
Padme shook her head and looked at her friend.  
  
"How did things get like this? None of this was supposed to happen! It wasn't supposed to be like this! I never meant to fall for my best friend! I thought getting married would be my turning point but then Anakin happened. I don't even know if we would be good together."  
  
"well, Padme. Maybe you and Bail aren't meant to be. What if you get married and you wake up years later realizing that Anakin was the one for you. What exactly are you going to do then?"  
  
"Well, let's just pray that never happens," said Padme.  
  
"Padme, you are avoiding the question."  
  
"Look, Sabe. I told Bail I would marry him! I can't go back on that now! What kind of person would that make me? And Anakin? What would him and I do, live happily ever after? Our worlds don't mix. I am a senator while he is a Jedi knight! It would never work!"  
  
"Who cares about the world? They can all go to hell! All that matters is what you want? Do you want Anakin. Does he make you burn? Does he keep that smile on your face shining?"  
  
"Yes," whispered Padme.  
  
"Then you know what you must do."  
  
"I won't do it. Anakin and I could never be together. I have to push him away. It's for the best. And I have to marry Bail whether I want to or not. I love Anakin but I have to be with Bail. I am doing this to save Anakin. Do you even know what Bail would do to him?"  
  
"Something tells me that I really don't want to find out."  
  
"If he knew Anakin or anyone else were trying to take me away from them he would destroy them. He would tear them limb for limb."  
  
Tbc 


	7. leaving

Summary: Padme decides Anakin and her will never be together because it would be to weird, she also refuses to hurt Bail and continues to plan her wedding.  
  
A/N: It will get fluffy, adventually. I'll tell you one thing, it's going to be a long story, because, honestly, I like long stories. But it will have a very happy ending. Ani and Ami forever! (Well, until he becomes Darth in episode 3)  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Padme approached Anakin that night. She had planned out exactly what she was going to say to him. She knew it would hurt him but she also knew it was for her own good.  
  
"Anakin, we have got to stop this. All of this is crazy. I am marrying Bail. I don't want any of this. It is suffocating me. Just let me go."  
  
"I can't let you go. I don't know how Padme. You haunt me. I can't even think straight anymore. Every thought always turns to you. You are in my soul. And I can't get you out."  
  
"Anakin, stop this. Please I am begging you. If you love me just let me go. If you love me you will set me free of my misery. I am miserable, and it's all to you."  
  
"Padme, I am not making you miserable. Your deep and passionate feelings being hidden from the one who provokes them is what is causing you to be miserable. Set them free."  
  
"Anakin, I can't. Like I said if you love me you will set me free. You will let me fly once more without looking at you every day and feeling like I am dieing."  
  
"Padme, if I let you go you still wouldn't be free. You would still want to be with me."  
  
"Please Anakin, do this. I am in pain."  
  
"Okay. I'll do this. I will try to forget that you ever possessed my heart."  
  
They both stared at eachother with tear stained faces.  
  
"Padme, don't do this. Call the wedding off. You do not love him."  
  
"I- I have to go."  
  
Padme ran off in tears. This was too much for her. Why was life so wrong and unfair? Why did it have to be this way for her?  
  
*******  
  
Bail was in his usual overly thrilled mood, which was really starting to piss Anakin off. This man always bore this grin on his face, had boundless energy, and always talked like a peppy cheerleader.  
  
"Padme, honey, I have a meeting to attend to. I have prepared the ship to take you to where the wedding will be held. I want you to inspect the place, you know, the rooms, everything, you can tell the servants who will be sleeping where. Also while you're there you can continue to plan the wedding better because you can get more of an idea where everything will be," said Bail with a smile on his face.  
  
"Oh, honey I don't want to go by myself," said Padme.  
  
"Oh, now, don't worry. I'm sure Anakin would love to come with you. I know you could use a man's opinion on things," said Bail.  
  
Padme looked over at Anakin who looked like he was about to die. His expression was clear. There was no way he was going with her at all.  
  
"Ofcourse, honey. Go pack your thing Anakin and meet me in front."  
  
He gave her a dirty expression before leaving, one Bail didn't see.  
  
"Anakin is such a lovely young man. He is perfect for Nicole. I am so glad that they get along so great. I know they would connect right off the spot. She tells me how much she loves him and he loves her. Looks like after we get married we'll be planning their wedding."  
  
Padme suddenly felt sick and feverish. Did Anakin love Nicole?  
  
"Yeah, sounds like fun," said Padme.  
  
"It will be. You and Nicole will be such great friends. I am so glad I brought her from Alderan early. She is going to be such a blessing to us all," said Bail.  
  
'Or a curse,' thought Padme.  
  
It wasn't that she really disliked Nicole too much, well she did but not too much. It was just she didn't trust Nicole. She didn't like Nicole because she loved Anakin, no one was allowed to love Anakin but her.  
  
Padme was so busy making last minute preparations that she didn't noticed that she had subconsciously admitted that she was in love with Anakin.  
  
**********  
  
"I can not believe I have to go on this trip with you. I would rather be doing anything else. Why couldn't Sabe have come with you? Oh, well, it's a bit late for that isn't? I'll tell you one thing. As soon as you're married I will be on the first ship to Coruscant."  
  
Padme looked him over. She should have known it would be like this.  
  
"Things are never going to be the same between you and I, are they," asked Padme.  
  
"No, I don't see how they would. Maybe after all of this, maybe some day we'll look back on this and laugh at how foolish we were, but now? All I feel is pain. After the wedding maybe we should just say our good-bye's forever."  
  
"Anakin, please don't leave altogether. The only thing that has gotten me through these eleven years was the fact that I knew one day I'd see you again. That gave me hope," said Padme.  
  
"How? I was never with you to affect you or not? We kept in touch but we hadn't seen eachother in person," said Anakin.  
  
"Oh, Anakin, you were always with me. You were everywhere I went. You were in my heart guiding me. You gave me hope through your letters at difficult times. Are you honestly going to take that hope away from me now? You can't Anakin," said Padme.  
  
"No, I can't. I would be too cruel if I did. No, you keep me as your hope, But our friendship will never ever be what it once was," I said.  
  
She nodded her head.  
  
"I know and thankyou."  
  
"You're welcome. But, can I ask one thing."  
  
"Go ahead Anakin. Ask away."  
  
"If I had come back and Bail wasn't in the picture would we be together," asked Anakin.  
  
Padme looked him in the eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears that were threatning to spill over onto her cheeks.  
  
"Anakin, you don't even have to ask. Yes, we would."  
  
Anakin nodded his head. He didn't know why but he had this feeling that something was about to happen, something big and life changing. Somehow he knew that none of their lives would ever be the same again.  
  
Tbc 


	8. blizard part1

Summary: While in Alderan an unusual blizzard comes snowing in Anakin and Padme, which causes them to be stuck in the hotel for awhile.  
  
Chapter eight  
  
Padme watched as the ship slowed to a landing. She had been to Alderan before, but the beauty always amazed her. Still, nothing compared to Naboo. Nothing ever would.  
  
She watched as Anakin picked up her suite cases. She felt bad for him because she had packed quite a bit of stuff. It must be heavy for him.  
  
"Anakin, are you sure you don't want me to take anything? I'm sure I can manage at least one bag. I am not completely helpless. Besides you look like you could use some help," said Padme.  
  
"Padme, I can handle it. I know you aren't helpless. You are far from it. What did you do, pack all of Naboo in here, because it sure feels like you did."  
  
**********  
  
As Padme entered the hotel she gasped. She could not remember a time when she had seen such a pretty place in her entire life. It was truly remarkable.  
  
"Wow, it's wonderful as it's beautiful," said Padme.  
  
"Yeah, it is. Hey, you stay here with the stuff. I am going to go check us in and get our room numbers," said Anakin.  
  
Padme watched him as he went to the front desk. He was truly handsome. Did he realize just how good looking he was? No man deserved to be that handsome. It had to be illegal.  
  
Padme turned quickly around before anyone could see her staring at him. She didn't want anyone to get any ideas. Gods knew what they might come up with.  
  
***********  
  
Padme rushed into Anakin's room, which was connected, to hers. She was about to call his name when something made her stop all movement.  
  
There, Anakin was, practicing with his lightsaber, without a shirt. Padme didn't dare make a sound. She felt suddenly paralyzed, as if she couldn't move.  
  
She watched his chest. (There's a lovely thought for all, us girls!) It was sculpted perfectly. She had a sudden desire to run her fingers down his chest.  
  
Padme was so lost in her train of thoughts and her daydream that she didn't hear the clearing of someone's throat the first three times.  
  
When she heard it the fourth time Padme wanted to die. Here she was, trying to pretend as if she didn't want Anakin, he had caught her staring lustfully at him.  
  
Padme finally met his gaze, which had his original smirk.  
  
"Anakin, I- I-I thought you should know dinner will be ready soon. I hope you will join me."  
  
"Ofcourse Padme, does every request have to do with you staring at me? I mean you could have interupted me at any moment. You didn't have to stare at me forever."  
  
Anakin was about to walk out of the door, down to dinner when Padme slammed it shut and turned Anakin to face her.  
  
"Be careful Padme, I might start to think that you might possibly want me," said Anakin with a smirk on his face.  
  
Padme frowned at him.  
  
"Oh shut up! I am going to wipe that smirk off your face so fast," declared Padme.  
  
"Really? Bring it on," said Anakin in a challenging tone.  
  
Padme put her hands on his cheeks and forcefully kissed him. There was nothing romantic about this kiss, they were both out to prove something to the other.  
  
Padme was trying to prove to Anakin that she didn't have feelings for him and could kiss him because she just felt like it, Anakin was out to prove to her that she did indeed had very deep feelings for him.  
  
**********  
  
Dinner was eaten in silence. For once neither knew what to say to the other. Both just ate looking anywhere but at the other person.  
  
Padme was sick of this. She didn't want all this. She didn't want their bond to die down. All she wanted was to be happy with Bail with Anakin as her best friend. She had never asked for this.  
  
She forgot that Anakin had known her long enough to read her mind.  
  
"And I did? Yeah, I woke up one morning and decided to fall in love with the last person I should have!"  
  
The waiter interupted them.  
  
"Sir, I got your order when your wife was in the rest-"  
  
"I am not his wife! Do I look like his wife? Do I have a tattoo on my head that says 'I am Anakin Skywalker's wife?' Did I? What made you think I was this man's wife?"  
  
The waiter regretted having said that.  
  
"I am terribly sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. It was just you two came in together arguing and seemed really close, like an old married couple."  
  
Padme had no idea everyone was watching their show."  
  
"We were arguing? That makes me his wife? Anyways I will take the steak special," said Padme.  
  
The waiter retreated.  
  
"People, these days. You would think they could get their heads straight."  
  
"Yup especially brown haired senators who scream loud enough for the whole galaxy to hear."  
  
Padme was about to bitch at him when she realized how she had embaressed herself.  
  
"Oh, God."  
  
"Don't worry, 'honey.'"  
  
Padme glared at him.  
  
"I am not your wife!"  
  
"Thank the Lord above for that blessing."  
  
"Why? What's wrong with me? I'm beautiful, sexy, kind, rich, smart, and other things," said Padme.  
  
"Hmm, you talk to much, you're bossy, you think too highly of yourself, you're too opinionated, among other things. I wonder if Bail really knows what he's gotten himself into. Because I do and am glad, I mean thrilled, that we are too much to be together," said Anakin.  
  
Padme knew she should feel relieved that he had told her he didn't have feelings for her. It hurt like hell. His face had been cold. She felt like she was going to cry because she knew he had really meant it. He didn't want her. He no longer loved her. Did he ever love her? Why did she even care? He was nothing to her. He was just her best friend.  
  
"Why are you saying those things? You really think that of me? Excuse me but I am tired and shall retire."  
  
"Really? Or are you just afraid that I am right, that you are conceded as much as your mother was? Padme, you're even worse. You're mother would never play with her true love's heart."  
  
*******  
  
Padme awoke the next morning and went downstairs to find that no one was there, except one servant.  
  
"Sir, where s everyone today?"  
  
"Oh, they are on the sled trip. You told us you didn't want to go. Every servant has gone but me. I am to stay here to attend to you and your friend. Oh, I heard about your ingagement. My best wishes are with you," said the man.  
  
"Thankyou. I think I shall go back to bed."  
  
***********  
  
She found Anakin in her room in front of the fireplace.  
  
"You know, you're too kind to be like your mother."  
  
He faintly smiled at her.  
  
"I still haven't forgiven you. You may go," said Padme in fake madness.  
  
She wasn't really mad at Anakin. After the look he gave her when she came in she was no longer mad. How could she stay mad at him when he gave her that pleading look? It was completely impossible to resist his plea.  
  
"Well, I am sorry my dear, dear, friend."  
  
Padme pulled him into a hug.  
  
They stood that way for ten minutes. She always felt safe in those arms, loved and cared for. For some reason she felt as if Anakin were her soul mate.  
  
********  
  
Anakin and Padme had rushed down when they heard the thunder, rain, broken glass outside, and heavy falling snow.  
  
"What the hell is going on," asked Anakin as they reached the one servant who stayed.  
  
"There's been a blizzard. It could last for days. It is so bad. Do you see the glass, the broken glass? They won't survive out there. They are all going to die and we will be stuck in here for days, snowed in."  
  
"Like hell they will," said Anakin.  
  
Padme looked at him with fear in her eyes.  
  
"What do you mean? What are you talking about? What the hell are you going to do?"  
  
"I am going to go out there. I have to find out if anyone survived and is alive. There has to be some, and I have to find them. I must."  
  
"Anakin, no! I need you! I need you to stay here with me. I am so scared. You don't need to go out there and ty to be a hero!"  
  
"I am going out there. You can't stop me!"  
  
"Stop this! You can't go out there! You will die!"  
  
"It doesn't matter Padme because I have nothing for me in my life, Don't you get it? There are innocent people out there, people who don't deserve to die," said Anakin.  
  
"I know that! What I also happen to know is that you aren't God! You can't save everyone who is in danger! If you go out there we'll just have another person dead. What we need is to just stick together!"  
  
"Padme, I can't. I will be back, later."  
  
************  
  
Anakin felt so cold. The cold gnawed right into his soul. It was bitter and raw. It was as if the air was inside his body. He felt cold all over, but he had to keep going.  
  
It hadn't been hard finding the people. They had all huddled together trying to keep warm. They had all been killed by the blizzard.  
  
Anakin would have been killed to if he hadn't used the force. But he couldn't keep the cold out. It was almost like he was turning into ice.  
  
He had to go back. There was nothing he could do now. All the people were dead, there wasn't any purpose being here. He felt really light headed and sick.  
  
********  
  
Where the hell was he? She was seriously going to kill him if he got killed!  
  
Padme realized that was pretty rediculess? How could she kill him if he were dead? It seemed pretty impossible to her, as well as crazy.  
  
Just when she was really getting mad she heard a soft noise. It had to be Anakin.  
  
When she found him in the dining room, he was barely able to stand. He was very unhealthy, Padme could tell he was very sick perhaps dieing. Then without any warnings at all he collapsed into her arms.  
  
TBC 


	9. part two of blizzard

Padme watched as he slept. Sweat covered his forehead. He had been like this for a day. She knew by the anguished look on his face that he was in pain.  
  
She sat next to his sleeping figure. Watching him in peace and silence was the only comfort she ever found for the past day without that annoying servant popping his head in convinced that he knew how to take care of Anakin better than her.  
  
"You stupid, stupid, stupid, idiot! Do you realize how stupid you are! Look, you have to get better okay? You have to. I know you're very sick and that you may die, but you can't."  
  
Padme got frustrated when her only response was his breathing in and out. He should be with her right now. This wasn't fair, she hated this so much.  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing? I hate it when you do things like this. Why were you trying to play the hero? You are already are a hero. You are my hero. You always risk your life for the people you love and the people you don't even know. It's one of the many things I love about you. You can't die!"  
  
She looked at his unresponsive body. He didn't say nor do anything. It was as if he were dead. No, he couldn't die on her.  
  
"No, you don't. If you think I am going to let you leave me after all the things we've been through together you have another thing coming. We have been through so much together, too much. I won't let you die because I haven't gotten my money's worth, well, maybe more than my money's worth. There is no way in hell that you are just going to bail out on me now, no way!"  
  
She leaned against his chest and began to softly cry. She felt so lost and scared. She had never been scared in her life, but she was now. Then her terror turned to anger.  
  
She began pounding against his chest.  
  
"How could you be so stupid. Why are you leaving me? I would do anything to have you back!"  
  
That's when she thought she was dreaming.  
  
"Well, you could quit shouting at me."  
  
"Anakin," she cried.  
  
Without thinking she threw her arms around him. She was so happy to see him. She stopped when she heard him wince in pain at her strong hugs.  
  
"Sorry, Anakin. I just thought I might not ever see you again," said Padme.  
  
"Do you honestly think I would leave that man alone to deal with you and your crazy ways. If you do, well then, you are really wrong," said Anakin.  
  
She could tell by the look on his face that he was still very tired and weak.  
  
"Go back to sleep. We'll talk when you get better."  
  
Anakin muttered something about not being tired as he fell into a deep sleep.  
  
*******  
  
Padme stretched the damp cloth against his forehead with warm water. Once again for the countless time that week Anakin had a high fever.  
  
Padme felt sad. His fevers were often so high. Neither her or the servant wanted to say this, but they knew he might die. He had been in the snow too long. They just couldn't seem to keep him warm enough.  
  
Padme got in next to him and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Maybe I can keep you going Anakin. If you die I really won't know what to do. I'll be living without really living. I can't imagine life without you. What would life be without you? I don't know. Hell, I don't want to know. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, I am starting to find out I'm not so good without you."  
  
She felt his bodies stop shaking and she knew with their combined heat he might live.  
  
"Anakin, I can never tell you this when you get up but I want you to know. Maybe it will be like a dream to you. I have to tell you. Anakin, I- I love you. Yes, I love you and I can't help it. Why did I fall in love with you? I swear I never wanted to! All I wanted was to be happy with Bail, but then you happened. I didn't want it. I thought that if I ignored my feelings for you they would go away. But it turned out it didn't work that way. It turned out that I didn't have say in it. It wasn't my choice."  
  
Padme looked at him. He was still feverish but cooling down. She realized that her words must be affecting his subconciousness.  
  
"Anakin, when we get home I'll be marrying Bail, but no this I will never love him, at least not the way I love you. You will always be in my heart. One day you'll forget about me completely, but I'll always love you. My heart will always ache for you, that's my promise to you."  
  
Padme softly kissed his lips as she cried.  
  
*********  
  
Padme woke up in the middle of the night to find Anakin stroking her hair.  
  
"Please don't cry Padme. I'm okay. Don't cry, angels should never cry," said Anakin.  
  
Anakin took in her serious expression.  
  
"Padme, what's wrong," asked Anakin.  
  
"Nothing, I'm just- never mind. I am happy that you are okay. I really don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you," said Padme.  
  
"Oh come on. Now as sweet as that is the truth is that you're Padme Amidala. You can do anything you have to do," said Anakin in a serious tone.  
  
"Oh, Anakin! I can't without you! I'm starting to realize I don't really work so well without you," said Padme with true conviction in her voice.  
  
"I know what you mean. Maybe you should leave this room before things are said that neither one of us really mean. Do you know what I mean," asked Anakin.  
  
Padme nodded her head as she turned to leave. Then she turned back around to him as if she had made a sudden decision she really hadn't had time to think over.  
  
"You don't believe that I am in love with you," asked Padme.  
  
Anakin stared deep into his eyes. Had she really said what he had thought he heard. He couldn't believe it.  
  
"You love me?"  
  
"Anakin, I love you so much it scares me on the inside. I need you. I can't brake it off with Bail but please give us this one night," said Padme.  
  
She leaned in and softly kissed Anakin. It started out as sweet and nice. As it built up their kisses were like fire, heated and passionate.  
  
Just as Padme was getting into it and losing herself in his kisses Anakin pulled away.  
  
"Anakin, what's wrong? What's the matter? Why did you stop," asked Padme in complete bewilderment.  
  
"I'm not going to have you like this. When I have you it will be every part of you, your whole heart and soul, everything. When that happens I'll be the only one you truly need. I can't accept anything less than that," said Anakin.  
  
"Anakin, what you say- I can't do. Anakin, listen to me. You ask too much of me. On some level I do love Bail," said Padme.  
  
"You love Bail because he makes you feel safe. But Padme, it's time to wake up and grow up. We're no longer nine. I've grown up and feelings have changed between us," said Anakin.  
  
Padme nodded her head as she spoke, "I should leave."  
  
"Yes, Padme," said Anakin with a smile on his face, "You should."  
  
Tbc 


	10. blizard part 3

Anakin these days were much better. These days the whether was so cold. It snowed constantly where as you couldn't even step outside for a walk.  
  
"So who was your first real kiss? I mean, before Sache," said Padme.  
  
They were playing Questions and answers. They were enjoying themselves by the heat of a fire in her bedroom.  
  
"Well, you. Try not to be mad. When we were eight, do you remember that case of the flu you got? Anyways when you were out of out I kissed you on the lips telling the angels that's how much I needed you to get better," smiled Anakin.  
  
Padme softly smiled.  
  
"Are you serious? I thought I felt someone kissing me but I thought it was just a dream."  
  
"No, it wasn't a dream. It was real, just like this is. To you, being with Bail is a dream that you hope to wake up from. But with me it's different. Everytime you're with me, you're awake. The problem is that you can't go to sleep, to the dream that you think you ought to be living. What you really want is right here. You want to be with me, as much as I desire to be with you. You know what I say is the truth, the truth you can't and won't admit," said Anakin.  
  
Padme knew every word of his was true.  
  
"Look at us Ani. We're simply pathetic. This is the real dream. This can never be. You know it as well as I do. You and me- it's simply crazy," said Padme.  
  
"But you love me. And I- I love you,"  
  
Padme couldn't help but stare deeply in his eyes. This was the first time he had directly said it. It wasn't in a sentence. It was directly at her. She couldn't get over the look he had on his face when he had seen it. She had seen true love and devotion.  
  
"You love me?"  
  
"Padme? You know I do. I've loved you longer than I am willing to admit."  
  
"Anakin? How long have you loved me?"  
  
"I've been hiding from it for a long time? I covered it up with our sibling bond. But I think I have loved you since I was nine, and first kissed you," said Anakin.  
  
"Anakin. It never should have happened like this. You should have told me so long ago that you loved me. This never should have happened, never like this. I'm suppose to marry Bail, but I no longer love him," whispered Padme.  
  
"Padme, I don't think you ever did," whispered Anakin into her ear.  
  
"I thought I did. Look, you and me, it won't happen. We can't be together, " said Padme rising up on her feet.  
  
"Is that what we should really do? Should we both pretend we don't love eachother? Should we really both ignore what we really think and feel for eachother," asked Anakin.  
  
Anakin was gaining up on her. He was so close to her, yet so far.  
  
"Don't push us aside," begged Anakin.  
  
"I have to."  
  
Padme looked at him. Nothing she did could have prepared her for his kiss. This kiss was different from every other he had given her. This one told her how much he loved and wanted her.  
  
Padme sighed as she gave into her forbidden desires. She felt his hands through her hair. As she sighed she felt his toungue slide into her mouth to caress her own tongue. She didn't ever want to let go of him. But she knew sooner or later one of them would pull away.  
  
She felt herself being drawn into a sea of desire. They had been hiding their feelings for years. And now the volcano was erupting. Neither one of them wanted it to stop.  
  
Padme felt her back hit the bed. His lips moved from her swollen lips to her neck. There he layed passionate kisses on hers. He never intended them to go this far, he still didn't intend on going the whole way with her. He just wanted to show her how deeply he loved her. He wanted to show her what she'd be giving up if she married Bail.  
  
Finally he stopped and looked into her eyes. He couldn't stop staring at her. How could she just give up what they have for that Senator and king? It made him mad.  
  
Padme watched as Anakin got off of her and make his way to the window. She could tell he was upset. She didn't even have to wonder why. She knew. She knew that he was upset with her.  
  
Anakin felt her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry," murmured Padme.  
  
"Why does it have to be this way," asked Anakin.  
  
She could tell he was trying to controle his anger.  
  
"We can't always have what we want, Anakin. If life was like that there wouldn't be so much pain," said Padme.  
  
"I am in pain. Everytime I think of your wedding it makes me want to kill myself. I am slowly dieing on the inside because I cannot live without you. I live to see and make you happy. That is my purpose in this life."  
  
"Anakin, if that were your purpose in this life we would be destined for eachother," said Padme.  
  
Anakin lightly scoffed at what she had just said herself.  
  
"But we are destined to be together. Don't you get it? Oh, Padme, it is right in front of you! How can you not see it? We were made for eachother! There is no one better for you than me," said Anakin.  
  
"Anakin! This will never be! I cannot do this to Bail! I will end up hurting him. I cannot cheat on him. I would be lieing to him!"  
  
The hurt look on Anakin's face was enough to kill her. She never wanted to cause him any pain. If it had been solely her choice she would be with him forever and ever.  
  
"Padme, why? Can you do that? Can you just tell me why it has to be this way," asked Anakin.  
  
Padme looked into his eyes deeply.  
  
"There are certain thing I can never do. If we were together as we are right now it would be a lie. Because the truth of the matter is that I'm not yours. We can't carry on as we have. What we have right now is based on lies. The truth of the matter is that I don't belong to you. I belong to Bail. I am his fiancée," said Padme.  
  
"It doesn't have to be like that. You can brake it off and marry me. We would be happy together," said Anakin.  
  
"I know that Anakin. You always happen to make me happy. You always know what I want. But I have to marry Bail. Naboo needs alliance with Alderaan," said Padme.  
  
Anakin looked at her. He looked like he was in pain.  
  
"Doesn't matter what you want? What do you want," asked Anakin.  
  
"You know what I want! I want to be with you! But now it's too late! We will not and can not be together! I won't let us! Too many people would be hurt! Think about your future! You would be expelled from the Jedi Order"  
  
"I don't care," shouted Anakin.  
  
"Well, you should! I will not let you go against everything! You have a future!"  
  
They were both venting their frustrated feelings at eachother.  
  
"Without you I have nothing!"  
  
Padme looked into his angry blue eyes. She saw anger and hurt. She saw truth and love. She remembered all the reasons she loved him so much.  
  
"But Anakin. You are a Jedi knight. The republic needs you. Over the years I've heard your name time and time again. Don't you see all the good things you've done for people? Where would all those people be without you? They would still be in deep suffering or even worse, dead. You can't give everything up for me, I won't let you."  
  
"But tell me this Padme, will you just be able to go back home once we get a signal out? Will you be able to act as if none of this has happened? Will you be able to walk down the isle and pledge your life to someone you don't love? How do you do it? I could never do it," said Anakin.  
  
"I'm being brave Anakin. I am doing this for you, I want you to move on and be happy," said Padme.  
  
"I will never move on. No matter what happens, I will always love you. I swear it. You are inside my soul and I never want you to leave."  
  
"Anakin, please. I am begging you to just try to move on with your life and just let me go," said Padme.  
  
"I can't. You are too much a part of me. Everything you do affects me, good or bad. I won't ever be able to just walk away unless I know you are going to be happy. That's what really matters to me," said Anakin bravely.  
  
He watched as tears tumbled down her cheeks. He hated it when Padme cried. It tore at his very own soul. It tore his very own existence.  
  
"I will be Anakin. I will be happy."  
  
"I don't think you will be. But who am I to tell you how to be happy? Do you really think you are ever going to happy with him," asked Anakin.  
  
His eyes searched hers out. He wanted to find the truth by looking in her eyes, which were, in his opinion, the windows to her very soul.  
  
But he found nothing. She had blocked him out. She wore a placid look on her face.  
  
"Yes, Anakin. I will grow to love him, and he already knows how to make me happy," said Padme.  
  
Anakin shook his head.  
  
"That's all I needed to know then. I wish you well," said Anakin.  
  
She watched as he began to walk out of her room.  
  
"Anakin, wait. Don't leave in anger."  
  
"Padme, I'm not angry with you. Look, you've made up your mind. You're going to marry Bail, and there's nothing I can do about it. I've lost you to him forever. I'm sorry I ever tried to vie for your affections. I am also sorry that I was never good enough for you," said Anakin.  
  
Padme walked up to him. When she reached him she softly touched his cheek with her hand.  
  
"You are good enough for me! In fact I don't deserve you!"  
  
"That's not true. If it were true we wouldn't be here standing her like this, having this conversation. I'm not good enough for you."  
  
He removed her hand from his cheek.  
  
"But you know what? That's all right. You want to know why? When you marry him you will wish it were I. When you kiss him you'll really be seeing me. Also when you two have kids you'll imagine that I am their father, and not he. Everytime you two kiss you'll sense my touch, and in that way you're mine forever."  
  
"Anakin-"  
  
Anakin cut her off with a forceful kiss. His toungue darted in and out her mouth. After awhile she let go.  
  
"The memories will live on forever. Every night you'll hunger for my touch. You'll wonder what could have been instead of what is."  
  
Tbc 


	11. destiny part1

A/N: Sheesh, guys! Give Padme a break! Don't worry, I love Ani/Ami! They'll end up together. Just be patient because they'll have their happiness soon, but it's a long way off from happily ever after. Thanks for the reviews, you guys are so awesome, love you all.  
  
Summary: Padme makes a big decision that will change a lot of people's lives.  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Anakin entered her room he had big news for Padme, news that could change everything. What he didn't know was that Padme had even bigger news for him.  
  
"Padme, I was watching the television set. They think we all died. They had our funerals today. I saw Bail and everyone in the backround mourning the both of us. They think we're dead. They think we died in the storm," said Anakin.  
  
"What? What are you talking about? How do they know we're dead," asked Padme.  
  
"I guess it's all assumption."  
  
Padme sat down in a chair.  
  
Padme looked into his eyes.  
  
"We have to go back there," she said.  
  
"Why? We can everything we want now. No one would ever know," said Anakin.  
  
"But we would know. We would both know the truth in our heart, and it would be a lie."  
  
"But we can have what we want, eachother."  
  
"Anakin, we have to go back. I have to go to Bail. I have to tell him what I realized. I layed awake all last night thinking about just how much I was in love with you. That's when I realized something. We are all that matter. I have to tell Bail that we can't get married because I am in love with someone else, some who loves me, someone I don't deserve, someone who deserves the best. I'm in love with my best friend."  
  
Padme said the last part of her small speech with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Are we really going to do this? Are we really going to be together forever?"  
  
"Oh, Anakin, it'll be longer than that, much longer. I love you so much and I need you. As long as I have you what could I possibly need? Tommorow, we can try to get a signal out. We'll go back. We'll tell them the truth."  
  
Anakin smiled before quickly kissing her.  
  
"Did I tell you how much I love you today?"  
  
"No, but if you did I would force you to say it a million times. I never could get sick of hearing you say it," said Padme.  
  
"And believe me, I never ever get sick of saying it. I love you. I love you. Oh and for the record, I love you Padme Amidala," said Anakin.  
  
"You better Anakin Skywalker. But don't worry we have the rest of lives to tell and show eachother just how much we are truly in love," said Padme.  
  
"What made you change your mind last night? It isn't that I mind believe me I don't. It's just you were so firm in your choice. I thought it was over. I thought what we had was gone," said Anakin.  
  
"I was laying in this bed last night. I went through all the times we've shared in the past and the prescence. I asked myself what my life would be like without you. I couldn't even answer that question because I didn't really know. Somehow you have always been in my life. I can't lose that. And now that I know I love you, I won't lose that. I love you; I just now realize how deep it goes. If it meant you could live, I would die for you. I realize now, when it comes down to it, I would do anything if it meant that I could be with you."  
  
"I would too. You are my one and only love. I believe in us. And no matter what happens I will always love you. Death or anything else shall never separate us. I believe our love was never made to die. Even if we die our love will live on. That's my story that's my promise to you. I promise to keep it and live by it," said Anakin.  
  
Anakin did the same as Padme. He sat next to her. He saw the tears in her eyes.  
  
"What did I ever do to deserve you Anakin? I love you so much; you are in my soul and heart. If I asked something of you would you do it?"  
  
"You know I would. If it's in my power to give it to you I will," said Padme.  
  
"Believe me, you can give it to me. I want you to show me just how much you love me. I want to know everything about you. I want us to become one," said Padme.  
  
Anakin looked at her sadly. He lightly smiled as he stroked her cheeks.  
  
"Padme, I want to wait until everything is perfect. I want it to be the most perfect night of your life. I'm not ready to have you unless you are. I want it to be a night you will never forget," said Anakin.  
  
"It will be," insisted Padme.  
  
"I don't want to push you. I want it to be on the night of our wedding, that way when we become man and wife it will be pure and holy. Besides the Jedi code forbids such things before marriage. I want to love you, but I won't have sex with you until after we are wed," said Anakin.  
  
"Anakin, you are one of a kind. Most men would have gone for it. Just when I think I know absolutely everything about you, you surprise me. You shock me. You throw me into a state of confusion. You shower me with a love I don't deserve. You know me better than I even know myself. You love me more than I could ever imagined being loved. In every way that matters you practically are my husband."  
  
"Not yet, my love. But one day, soon, everyone one will know just how much we mean to eachother. Everyone will know that we are in love," said Anakin.  
  
"Alright Anakin. But the minute we are alone on our wedding night you are mine," said Padme.  
  
"You know I am. I will always be yours and yours only. I belong to you."  
  
"As I belong to you."  
  
"I love you so much, Padme."  
  
"I love you, Anakin."  
  
"Promise me something, that no matter what happens we'll always be together."  
  
"We will Padme. We will always be together. I pledge my life and love to you."  
  
"As I pledge mine."  
  
*******  
  
One Month Later:  
  
Padme saw the spaceship lift in the air. It had been a long month of romantic interludes, of passion and love.  
  
"Anakin. Did you tell him we were coming," asked Padme.  
  
"Yeah, uh-huh. He is probably making signs all over his house saying Padme and Anakin forever. Oh and while we're at it he's announcing to the world right this moment just how damn happy he is for us. Wait! Don't forget the baloons," said Anakin as sarcastically as possible.  
  
"Anakin! That was not necessary. He's about to get the shock of his life. I'll bet it'll make the paper. Senator and jedi for life," said Anakin dramatically.  
  
"Anakin, your budding sarcasm is not helping this situation in the least bit. Would you mind not being so freaking sarcastic," asked Padme in a fake sweet voice.  
  
"Sorry, but I'm going to bust if I don't. You are aware that he's going to be less than thrilled right?"  
  
Padme just stared out at the window. She saw the ground as the shuttle landed. She was home. She had been gone for quite awhile but she was finally home. Under any other circumstance she would have been very happy to be here on Naboo, her homeland.  
  
Padme got out. She took one bag even though Anakin insisted on taking them all. She was still busy talking arguing with Anakin about it. She didn't see the vehicle coming. The vehicle didn't see her. She was knocked out.  
  
"Padme!"  
  
********** 


	12. destiny part2

A/N: Dan, sorry I already planned on one of your two things but I promise it'll turn out allright for them! And Max (Padawan Jedi Ani) Jesus! People like mushy stories! I do! So, deal. Lol. You know you're my hommie.  
  
Anakin felt as if his whole world had stopped. At first he just watched her in complete shock. He didn't know what to think. Then he ran to her and pulled her into his embrace  
  
No," cried Anakin.  
  
He checked her pulse. Good. She was at least still breathing. She was alive, thank the maker. He looked up to see people gathering around among them were Bail.  
  
Bail didn't know what to think. When he had heard no word he had thought they had died. He had thought everyone died in that horrible blizzard on his home planet. How was this possible?  
  
"Anakin, Padme. You guys are alive. This is incredible." \ d Anakin as he held her in his arms. This couldn't be really happening, to Padme, to the love of his life.  
  
"Yes, it's wonderful, call a doctor right now!"  
  
Anakin got lost in the swirl off excitement. He wasn't sure as to what was going on. All he knew was the Padme was being rushed off to the hospital to get the help she needed. To him, that's all that mattered right then.  
  
*******  
  
The doctor looked at Bail Organa with a small smile on his face.  
  
"Don't worry, My King, she will be just fine. Her vitals are steady. She will recover and the wedding will be on as planned," said the doctor.  
  
"Thankyou, Sir. She is the love of my life. I lost her once. This time no one is going to take her away from me, not ever again," said Bail.  
  
He didn't know that Anakin was watching from the slightly ajar door. He had a placid and stubborn look on his face.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure Bail. No one is ever going to take Padme away from me. Don't make me, but if I have to I will fight for her. And I will win," whispered Anakin to himself.  
  
Bail finally noticed Anakin and motioned for him to join him, which Anakin did. Anakin waved the doctor away.  
  
"Tell me, Bail. How is she feeling?"  
  
"She is doing much better and will be fine. She will be awake in a week. After all of this we can get on with the wedding as planned. Don't you thin that's a good plan, Anakin," asked Bail.  
  
"Excellent," lied Anakin.  
  
*********  
  
Anakin didn't know what Nicole was doing here. Well, he did. He just didn't think that she belonged here. She wasn't supposed to be here. Bail wasn't supposed to be in that room with her. He was. That was the way things were supposed to be. Everything was so screwed up.  
  
"How are you feeling Anakin? You look worn out as well as tired."  
  
"I am, Nicole. Can you just leave me alone right now? It's what I need. I just need to be myself. I need time to think," said Anakin softly.  
  
"Hey, Anakin, if you need a friend I'm here. I know how you feel. I know what you're going through," said Nicole.  
  
Anakin turned to her with an angry expression on his face.  
  
"How dare you! How dare you say you know what I am going through! She is the love of my life! I love her! And I'll be damned if I ever have to let her go," said Anakin.  
  
"That's what I meant! I know you love her! I love him! We both thought you died. We tried to resist the inevitable but then we fell in love. And look at him! He's trying to do the right thing by making himself believe that he's still in love with her," said Nicole sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Nicole. I didn't know. I had no right to blow up in your face like that. I am really sorry. About what you said, about Bail, what's right anymore," asked Anakin.  
  
"Whatever is right?"  
  
*******  
  
Anakin pranced into her hospital room. She was finally awake and wanted to see him. He was so happy that she'd be okay and they would finally be okay.  
  
"Anakin, hey. I need your help on something. What happened after our ship landed on Alderaan? Because of my accident I can't remember anything," said Padme.  
  
Anakin just stared at her. She didn't remember? This was not happening. It always seemed to be one thing after another, and now this?  
  
Anakin sighed. Should he just tell her the truth, or let her live the lie she was now. No, he couldn't tell her the truth because to her it wasn't real. It would only upset her. To her, he was someone she loved, but didn't realize it. Things were the way they used to be.  
  
"Nothing much Padme. We just tried to plan a wedding but then we got snowed in," lied Anakin.  
  
"Okay, Anakin. Thanks for telling me. You're a great friend," said Padme as she slowly fell asleep.  
  
Anakin left the room with a sad face.  
  
"What's wrong," asked Nicole.  
  
"She doesn't remember anything. She doesn't remember anything that happened in Alderaan. I couldn't bare to tell her because she would still not remember," said Anakin.  
  
*******  
  
Sabe watched as she slept. She was now home, which made Sabe happy. She had really missed her friend. She watched as Padme twisted and turned. She was obviously having a livid dream.  
  
Dream:  
  
Padme: You don't believe that I love you?  
  
******  
  
Sabe stared up at her friend whom wore a confused look on her face.  
  
"I've been having dreams and hallucinations lately. I can't remember anyhing that happened when we were there. I love Bail. He's been there for me lately. He's been great. But I have one question. If I am in love with Bail, why can't I stop dreaming of Anakin. Are they memories? No, they can't be. He told me nothing happened. If he said that than nothing happened," reasoned Padme.  
  
TBC 


	13. destiny part 3

"Well, honey, if you want to put the wedding on hold I would be more than okay with that. It's been awhile, you just might want some time to get used to everything," said Bail.  
  
"No, Bail, I want to be married next week. I love you and will not wait soon," said Padme.  
  
Padme felt like she was going to break from so many unanswered questions. The only thing she had to cling on was what she did remember, and what she did remember was that she was going to marry Bail.  
  
But something in her mind kept nudging at her. She couldn't put her finger on it. Something was trying to make her remember something.  
  
"Okay, if that's really what you want," said Bail.  
  
"Oh, believe me, it is exactly what I want."  
  
*********  
  
"What exactly do you think you are doing," demanded Nicole.  
  
If you said she was happy with Bail you'd be considered crazy. Nicole was anything but happy with Bail.  
  
"She wanted to the wedding to be next week. What was I supposed to say, no? I couldn't tell her no. She's been away too long. When we got together I thought she was dead," explained Bail.  
  
"So, you regret everything we went through. I was in love with you, you were in love with me. Well, I thought you were. But now that she's back you're just going to throw it all away," asked Nicole.  
  
"You are making it sound as if I never loved you! That is not true! I did! I do! I never expected this to happen. She wants to get married yesterday. What the hell am I supposed to do," demanded Bail.  
  
"Well, I don't know, CALL IT OFF!"  
  
"She is just getting better. What will happen to her if I break her heart! What kind of person do you think I am?"  
  
"You really want an answer to this question? All right, I'll tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you. I want to be with you. I want you. But the truth is that your not mine, and that really hurts," said Nicole.  
  
********  
  
Sabe watched as he packed his bags. She couldn't believe what was happening now. She couldn't believe that Anakin was really leaving, for good.  
  
"Anakin, you're making a mistake! Where will you go anyways," asked Sabe.  
  
"I don't know, anywhere but here. Who knows where I'll go. Hell, who cares? Maybe I'll go back to Coruscant sooner than expected. I was offered a job in the Jedi temple of training young padawans before they are chosen as apprentices. Maybe I'll just travel around, see the world."  
  
"Anakin, what really happened in Alderaan? I know what you told Padme, but I want to know the truth," insisted Sabe.  
  
"Alright. Here's the deal. We fell deeply in love and she can't remember it. And now I can't stay here. She once said I always tried to play the hero but maybe that's what I should be doing, going around and saving people, finding people who are force sensitive," said Anakin.  
  
"Make her remember your love for her. If you don't everyone will be miserable. Nicole loves Bail, he loves her, Padme, although she can't remember it loves you."  
  
"Yeah, well that doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is what she wants. And she believes she's in love with Bail. All I can say is may God always bless them," said Anakin.  
  
Anakin slung his bag in the air using the force to carry them.  
  
"Anakin, are you sure you are making the right choice?"  
  
"What other choice do I have? I am not going to stay here. Good bye Sabe."  
  
He gave his friend a hug before turning around and walking out the palace of Naboo, perhaps forever.  
  
"Goodbye Anakin, may God go with you."  
  
********  
  
Padme heard of Anakin's departure. She couldn't believe that he was really gone. She locked herself in her room and let the tears fall. For some odd reason she felt as if a part of her was missing.  
  
She was going to miss Anakin. He was her best friend, and the closest thing she had to a brother. But she felt as if he were more than that to her.  
  
She slowly fell asleep in an intoxicating dream.  
  
Anakin: I love you Padme Amidala.  
  
Padme: You better Anakin Skywalker.  
  
*********  
  
Anakin: Our love was not made to ever die  
  
******  
  
Padme: You don't believe that I love you?  
  
********* Padme: Let go of my hands!  
  
Anakin: No! You know what I'm going to do.  
  
Padme: I refuse to. I refuse to kiss you. I won't kiss you. I won't!  
  
Anakin: I beg to different  
  
Padme sighed in her sleep as he kissed her. If she had been awake she would have felt the salty tears on her cheek. She would have felt her heart crying out to and for Anakin.  
  
************  
  
A week Later The wedding:  
  
She was a true vision of loveliness. No one could argue the fact that Padme Amidala, soon to be Organa, looked absoulutely breathtaking.  
  
She was clothed in white. Her hair was done in some elaborate style, with jewels in her hair. She wore make-up, the perfect amount. Her walk was purposeful, unfaltering, but something was nagging at her in her heart.  
  
She finally reached the altar and joined hands with Bail. She tried to smile as he tried to smile at her. But for some reason it came out wrong but he didn't seem to notice.  
  
All of a sudden as Padme was listening to the minister talk she remembered something. When the minister had asked her if she promised to pledge her life to Bail's something clicked.  
  
Memory:  
  
Anakin: I don't want to push you. I want it to be on the night of our wedding, that way when we become man and wife it will be pure and holy. Besides the Jedi code forbids such things before marriage. I want to love you, but I won't have sex with you until after we are wed  
  
Padme: Anakin, you are one of a kind. Most men would have gone for it. Just when I think I know absolutely everything about you, you surprise me. You shock me. You throw me into a state of confusion. You shower me with a love I don't deserve. You know me better than I even know myself. You love me more than I could ever imagined being loved. In every way that matters you practically are my husband.  
  
Anakin: Not yet, my love. But one day, soon, everyone one will know just how much we mean to eachother. Everyone will know that we are in love  
  
Padme: Alright Anakin. But the minute we are alone on our wedding night you are mine  
  
*******  
  
Padme focused back at the minister. They seemed to be waiting for her to say something.  
  
"Yes, I pledge my life."  
  
(I don't spend my weekends at weddings, so pretend as if its different than earth.)  
  
"And Padme, as surely as this crowd is here, do you promise to love him, be bound by love and everything else?"  
  
Memory:  
  
Padme: Anakin, if that were your purpose in this life we would be destined for eachother  
  
Anakin: But we are destined to be together. Don't you get it? Oh, Padme, it is right in front of you! How can you not see it? We were made for eachother! There is no one better for you than me!  
  
*******  
  
What did I ever do to deserve you Anakin? I love you so much; you are in my soul and heart. *******  
  
Then Padme new she was truly breaking because she remembered her love for Anakin and she was getting ready to marry Bail.  
  
She didn't know she had just nodded her head to the minister's question.  
  
"If anyone here objects may he speak now."  
  
Padme looked for someone to say something. She wished Sabe were able to be here today, able to save her from her own wrongs, But there was no one here to save her but herself.  
  
"By the power invested in me-"  
  
"No," shouted Padme.  
  
Everyone looked at her with a confused expression.  
  
"No! Don't announce us Husband and wife! No! I can't be his wife! Bail, I am so sorry but my heart belongs to someone else. I am just glad that I remembered it before it was too late," said Padme softly.  
  
Padme looked over to her mother Isabella who was walking towards her.  
  
"You, fool! I made you the perfect match, a life that insured forever security, for our family, for your family to come," yelled Isabella, Padme's mother.  
  
"You insured me a life of pain. But Mother, I'm not you. I never will be you. Someone once told me I'm nothing like you. I just hope I can find him before it's too late," said Padme running out of the church.  
  
*****  
  
Padme knocked on Sabe's grandmother's door. On the first ring Sabe answered it.  
  
"Padme, what happened? You've been crying!"  
  
"I was supposed to get married tommorow but we changed it to today which is why you weren't there. Why didn't he tell me? Why? I know he's gone? But he's hiding somewhere on Naboo, right?"  
  
"Padme, maybe you better just sit down," said Sabe.  
  
"Tell me," said Padme firmly.  
  
"I don't know where he went. No one seems to know where he went. He wouldn't tell me. He wouldn't tell anyone where he was going. He, himself didn't really know where he was going. How much do you remember?"  
  
"Right at first it was in dreams or flashes. But now more and more comes back to me by the hour. I think I am beginning to remember it all," said Padme.  
  
"That's good, I suppose."  
  
Sabe watched as Padme walked towards the door.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I am going away from here. I have to find him. I know I've been a fool. I have been so foolish that I don't expect him to forgive me. But he needs to know how much I really love him. He is my world. I cannot and will not survive without him. I refuse!"  
  
Sabe watched as her friend walked away.  
  
"Things never do slow down around here, now do they," muttered Sabe to herself.  
  
************  
  
Padme sat in her ship just thinking. How had all of this happened? A few hundred little advents had led to all of this. How ha things gotten so screwed up? Why couldn't she have just remembered the whole time?  
  
Padme sighed. She had to remember something her great Grandmother had always said. "Things happen you can't explain"  
  
Well, this was definitely one of them. She had to find him. She hoped with all of her heart that she did. She couldn't live without Anakin. She had absoulutely no intention of doing so.  
  
*************  
  
Anakin arrived in Coruscant just as planned. He arrived at the Jedi temple where many padawans ran up to him eager to share stories. He listened as he always had but the students noticed something was different about him. He smiled but the smile didn't exactly reach his eyes.  
  
"What's wrong Master Anakin," asked Julia.  
  
She and her twin brother were said to be Master Skywalker's favorite padawans. All the other children were all jealous of Johnathon and Julia because they all knew he would choose one of them as his apprentice.  
  
"I am sorry students. I am not much good because I am very tired from my journey. But if you seek me out in a week I will be good as new," said Anakin.  
  
They all scurried off after they had said good bye to him.  
  
************  
  
Anakin sat in a bar in Coruscant. He planned to drown his sorrows away. He knew that by today had been her wedding. She had surely married Bail and there wasn't a thing he could do.  
  
He sat off in a corner by himself. He heard approaching footsteps. He looked in the eyes of a young woman.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"I'm not very good company. I'm not going to buy you a drink. I mean I will if you really want one but right now I am too miserable to do much of anything," said Anakin.  
  
The woman sat down. She was truly concerned for him. She had never seen such a distressed man let alone Jedi. What had happened to him?  
  
"You're significant other, your wife, was a cheater too I suppose?"  
  
"Not my wife. And it wasn't my best friend's fault."  
  
"Your best friend? Oh, all the cute guys always turn out to be gay!"  
  
Anakin found himself laughing.  
  
"No, I'm not gay. It was a she. I came back to Naboo, where she lives. She was getting married. I didn't mean to fall in love with her. Hell, she was the last person I even wanted to be attracted to. Then we were snowed in on Alderaan. We fell deeply in love there. Then when we came back she got hit. The driver is serving a life sentence because he was drunk while he was driving. But when she woke up she didn't remember anything, and today she married the man she thought she was in love with," said Anakin.  
  
Jewel had tears in her eyes. She didn't think she had ever heard such a story in her life.  
  
"So now that I've burdened you with my story what's yours?"  
  
That's how Anakin spent the next week. He found it easier to drown his sorrows in different kinds of alcoholic beverages than to really think of his terrible pain.  
  
That night he went off in s part of the bar no one would look for him in. He just felt like being left alone.  
  
"Why must we live this lie? My love, you knew we were forbidden to have a happy ending. You tried to save us from it. We were going to be so happy. We were about to have everything we ever wanted. We had our chance to see how good we could be together but now that chance is gone."  
  
********* Padme made sure she dressed in ordinary clothes tonight. She had to be ordinary. Tonight she was a normal person, a person like anyone else.  
  
Padme stepped into a club. If Anakin were in Coruscant he would be here. She smiled as she realized just how well she knew him. When they were two they had actually met here.  
  
Flashback:  
  
It was a party in this very club. Both of their parents had been there. They ofcourse had left their children off with their various nannies. That's how they had met.  
  
From the age of six months both had been educated in the finest ways of possible. By the time they were a year in the half they could carry a conversation with people with using improper English.  
  
"Was your name," Padme had asked.  
  
"Anakin, Anakin Skywalker, was yours?"  
  
"Padme Amidala."  
  
*******  
  
She remembered how they had practically been joined at the hip since then, well at least until he had left to fulfill his destiny in becoming a Jedi.  
  
She looked around the familiar club. She didn't see him. She left him feeling as if her life were crashing around her. She checked herself into a hotel.  
  
********* Padme sat at the vanity table brushing her hair out. She looked in the mirror as she cried.  
  
"Look at me now, I look absoulutely ugly. Would you still want me if you could see me like this? I'm sure you would though. You always saw people for who they really were. I never understood what you saw in me. But you did see something. You saw something no one else saw. I didn't even see it myself. You showed me that I was worth something. I remember when we were young. You saved me from what I would've become. I would've become a mindless puppet who always did as was told even if it would have destroyed me. Instead you made me into a woman who always knew what she wanted."  
  
Padme sobbed harder and she through the brush across the room.  
  
"Why Anakin? Why? I need you so much but I don't know where you are? I can't rest until I find you! What if I never find you? What will become of me then? What will I be then? I will be a pointless person without life in her. If I don't find you I will kill myself. I would rather die than live without you."  
  
She threw herself on the bed and cried herself into a restless sleep without peace or hope in her heart. She was broken on the inside and the out. And the worse part of it was that she had no one to blame but herself. It was all her doing. And now there wasn't really a thing she could do about it.  
  
************  
  
Anakin sat in the front row of a local church. He didn't know what he was doing here. He had never prayed to any kind of a God ever. He had always just relied on the force and luck.  
  
The force was necessary because the Jedi depended upon it, and if your name was Anakin Skywalker you had to have some amount of luck or else you just wouldn't make it through.  
  
But God was something entirely different. Anakin, with all the traveling he had done had met many nations. Some had one god while other might have twenty. He didn't know who God was. Hopefully he was praying to the right one.  
  
"God- if there is a God. I know I never pray- am I doing it wrong? I mean I really don't know how to pray. Am I suppose to meditate? Or am I supposed to just talk? Anyways I need you to bring Padme back to me. Please, I love her. Without her I am nothing."  
  
Anakin didn't hear the figure step into the chapel.  
  
"Oh, he has died as well," whispered Padme to herself.  
  
She finally approached him.  
  
"Anakin!"  
  
Anakin stared at her in disbelief.  
  
"Is that you? How did you find me?"  
  
"I am here."  
  
She sat next to him and put her arms around him. He didn't say anything for awhile. He just tried to push her away which caused her to hold on tighter.  
  
"You aren't really here. This is a dream go away!"  
  
"Don't push me away. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. This is where I belong, with you forever," whispered Padme softly.  
  
Finally Anakin seemed to understand what she was saying and just held on to her. He just sobbed in her arms and she let him.  
  
She knew he was so out of out he wasn't really aware as to what was going on. But Padme knew that when he became sober she would find some way to make him understand how truly sorry she was and just how deeply she was in love with him. Yes, she would find a way to make him understand. She had to. He was her life. He gave her purpose.  
  
Padme tasted the salt on her own face and before she knew it she was crying too. And she was no longer holding him because he was holding her.  
  
"Ani."  
  
"Shh! You can tell me later what happened, I'd explain everything, but for now let me be your strength. It's okay."  
  
"It's okay, Anakin. We're together now. Everything will be okay."  
  
Then Padme opened her eyes.  
  
"I'm too late."  
  
She realized everything that had happened within the last ten minutes was a figment of her imagination. She realized that Anakin wasn't here on Coruscant. She really didn't know what to do now.  
  
She just sat on one of the church pews and put her head in her lap and did the only thing she could do. She cried. She realized she had been doing that quite a bit lately.  
  
Tommorow she would go home and take care of business and then continue her search for her lost lover who didn't want to be found ***********  
  
Anakin walked into one of the Padawans classes. He decided there was nothing he could do now but dedicate his life completely to being a Jedi.  
  
"Ah, Master Skywalker, a padawan you've come to choose have you," asked the short, green, Jedi Master.  
  
Anakin nodded his head as the children continued in their exercises. He walked around thr room watching them do excercises that were so completely familiar to him.  
  
Anakin noticed something was a bit off. He stopped in front of Johnathon.  
  
"Where is your sister today?"  
  
"She was chosen by Master Obi-wan to be his apprentice since you are no longer his Padawan."  
  
"I haven't been his Padawan for years."  
  
"Yes, Master Skywalker."  
  
Anakin gave the young lad a smile and patted his back.  
  
"Then I take you on as my Padawan," said Anakin.  
  
Yoda shook his head I disbelief.  
  
"Been here only ten minutes have you not? Takes months to decide it does."  
  
"I have known both twins their whole lives. I have surveyed both their strengths. I think Johnathon could learn a great deal from me," said Anakin.  
  
"Learn a lot from you, he will. Dispute this with you, I will not. Your apprentice, Johnathon will be," said Yoda.  
  
Johnathon couldn't help but smile. This was the greatest day of his life. He wanted to jump for joy but he knew better than to do that.  
  
***********  
  
"So you've taken his sister as your apprentice?"  
  
"She complies a lot more than other people I have had to train in the past. She doesn't question my every direction. She doesn't have a ten different ways of doing things for every one thing that I do," said Obi-wan with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
Anakin smiled at him.  
  
"Sheesh! You make it sound as if I were a complete smart- ass," said Anakin.  
  
"Must I state the obvious," asked Obi-wan.  
  
"Please don't."  
  
********** 


	14. fait part 1

Anakin and his padawan Johnothan appeared in front of the council for their first mission together as a team. Johnothan was excited but was trying his hardest not to show it. One look at Master Skywalker told him that he was failing miserably.  
  
"I'm sorry, Master."  
  
They both stopped and turned to the jedi council. What the hell was Obi-wan doing here? What the heck had happened? Something serious had happened. That's all that Anakin knew.  
  
"Anakin, may I have a word with you?"  
  
Anakin walked off in the hall with Obi-wan, his former master.  
  
"What has happened?"  
  
"Senator Amidala's life is in terrible danger. There have been three attempts on her life already. Oh, and it gets better. Senator Bail Organa is being blamed for it."  
  
"Why would her own husband kill her."  
  
"Didn't you here? She ran out of the chapel at the last moment. They never got married."  
  
*******  
  
Padme trembled in her room in complete fear. She was afraid of dying. She didn't want to die. She wanted to live. There was so much she wanted to do before she died. Everytime the person tried to kill her they got closer to their goal.  
  
And Ani? What about him? She would never see him. She would never get the chance to tell him that she remembered she loved him and always would.  
  
Padme felt herself cry. She heard shots outside. She knew they would kill her this time.  
  
************  
  
Anakin leaped out of the shuttle quicker than lightning. His Padawan was right behind him. Together they made a terrific team. Johnothan helped his master deflect the gunfire.  
  
*********  
  
Padme heard voices and she heard the gunfire stop. She looked outside to see Anakin in all his glory putting his lightsaber away. She saw him as he walked inside.  
  
She wore a small smile on her face. This time the smile reached her eyes. Yes, Anakin was here. He was truly her knight in shining armor, or jedi armor would be more like it.  
  
*********  
  
Anakin walked in to try to find Padme but was stopped by two servants.  
  
"We'll show you two to your rooms."  
  
"No, really, I'd like to speak to Padme."  
  
"Really, Jed I Skywalker, you will see her at dinner. She has just had her life threatened. Give her some time to get herself together, please."  
  
Anakin nodded his head. He did understand what they meant. But that did not mean he had to like it. Just because she hadn't married Bail didn't mean she remembered everything.  
  
Anakin was more than sure on one thing though. Dinner was going to be an interesting advent, a very interesting one indeed. That was for sure.  
  
**********  
  
Anakin heard a knock on his door. He wanted to know who it was. He was trying to get ready for dinner.  
  
Before he opened the door, the door opened. He came face to face with Padme. She just stared at him and he stared back at her. He felt as if his body wouldn't move. Then he noticed he didn't have to walk to her because she approached him.  
  
"I remembered everything. I remembered that we were deeply in love."  
  
Padme watched as he fell silent.  
  
"Anakin, please, say something."  
  
But he didn't say anything. Words couldn't describe what he was feeling right then. He grabbed the ides of her face and deeply kissed her. It seemed to the both of them that they melted eachother's ice hearts. Their tears were one.  
  
Padme broke free and looked into his eyes. Her eyes were full of tears.  
  
"I remembered before it was too late. I looked every place I could think of. But I never found you. But my heart led me to different places. We still had that connection. Couldn't you feel it?"  
  
"No."  
  
He quickly went on to say his next words when he saw the look on Padme's face.  
  
"I wouldn't let myself. After you had your accident I figured that we were over. It seems as if fait has brought us back together."  
  
"Oh, Anakin, without you I was so confused. I was so lost. I never quite knew what I was doing."  
  
"Please tell me you're no longer confused."  
  
"Anakin, how could I be? You're here. And now that I have you I am never ever going to let you go. I will always love you."  
  
"As I will always love you."  
  
They shared one more kiss before sharing a fierce hug. This hug said everything they couldn't. Anakin felt her tears on his tunic. He pulled back and looked in her eyes.  
  
"Please don't cry. Everything is okay now. We can be together."  
  
"Anakin, I thought I would never see you again. But now you're here."  
  
She brought him into a fierce kiss. Anakin knew he really should stop her before it got too far. But then he knew it had been too long. And he wanted what she wanted. He wanted to take her to bed.  
  
Padme was glad that Anakin didn't push her away. She wanted this from him. She wanted to become one with him. She wanted to know everything about him, she wanted to know his body.  
  
Anakin took controle and pulled her down on the bed with him. He knew this was forever love.  
  
Tbc 


	15. fait part 2

Padme sighed as she once again became conscious. She had always known that making love to Anakin would be fantastic, but words could not describe how he had made her felt.  
  
She smiled as she turned to his sleeping figure. One hand was draped over her wait while the other one was on his side. He looked cute just sleeping there. But Padme knew dinner would start in an hour and she had to wake him.  
  
"Anakin, wake up," she said in a soft voice.  
  
She smiled as he grumbled in his sleep. It really was a shame she had to wake him. She go to bed with him over and over again.  
  
"Really? Why don't we just skip dinner altogether and live out those fantasies of yours, hmm?"  
  
"Anakin, darling, as much as I would like to we do have dinner and I am famished. Also I would very much like to meet your padawan. He is your padawan, isn't he," asked Padme.  
  
"Yes, he is. I hand picked him in one of my dark hours. Speaking of which he was supposed to come by before din-"  
  
Suddenly the door opened to reveal none other than Johnathon.  
  
"Oh, my God! Um- wow. Well, I'm sure whatever you were going to tell me earlier could really wait. I'm just going to go. Yeah, going- uh-huh- going sounds really good, real good! Bye!"  
  
"Johnathon, this really isn't what it looks like," Anakin said.  
  
"This isn't what it looks like? Well, I don't know what else it could possibly be. I'll see you two at dinner."  
  
With that over with John quickly went out of the room.  
  
"Well, that went well. I am sure your lovely explanation took all of his confusion away. I suppose its not every day a Padawan catches his Master making love to a senator. Well, God, I hope not," said Padme.  
  
Anakin rolled his eyes at her biting sarcasm.  
  
"Funny. Well, what was I supposed to say? 'Um yeah, Johnathon, you caught me in the act. By the way, have a very nice day? Oh by the way, I did mention very nice right?'"  
  
"Well its not like he really knows. It isn't as if Yoda or Master Windu, or even Master Kenobi teach them sex education, or have a stash of hidden porno."  
  
Anakin laughed at the idea. He couldn't see any of the three ever doing that, but his own master, Ew! That was just too gross to imagine.  
  
"Yeah, right. That will happen, when I turn into a Sith Lord," said Anakin sarcastically.  
  
*********  
  
Dinner was very uncomfortable to say the least. No one enjoyed seeing the person that there father figure just did. What was he supposed to say to her anyways? Besides, if she wanted to talk, she could say something to him.  
  
Padme sighed. What did she expect, for this child to like her, after everything that happened? God, he must hate her. What if he saw her as some sort of a slut or something equally as bad?  
  
Anakin rolled his eyes. He was bored out of his mind because you could have heard a pin drop. That's how silent everyone was being.  
  
"Johnathon, where are your manners? Senator Amidala has allowed us into her home and this is the kind of gratitude you show her, ignoring her? I expect much more of you than that," said Anakin sternly.  
  
"Ofcourse you do! Why shouldn't you! You are the chosen one! Not everyone is just as good as you," said Johnathon.  
  
"Johnathon!"  
  
John realized he had taken it too far and meekly apologized.  
  
"Thankyou Senator Amidala, you really do have a lovely home and the food is really good."  
  
"Thankyou. You must be Johnathon. Tell me your favorite foods and I will make sure the cook includes them in either tomorrow's lunch or dinner."  
  
"Thankyou, Milady."  
  
He looked up at Anakin who shook his head. Anakin could only imagine what was going through his head. He could tell that he was dieing to ask them what their relationship was to eachother.  
  
********  
  
Padme entered the training room that day and smiled upon what she saw. There Anakin and Johnathon stood. It was obvious to her that they had finished light saber training  
  
Padme lightly cleared her throat and smiled as they turned to her.  
  
"What is in those bags? Don't tell me you went shopping- again," said Anakin.  
  
"Don't be silly Anakin. I packed a lunch. I thought since it was such a lovely day that the three of us should go out to the fields and have lunch," said Padme with a smile on his face.  
  
"Fields," asked Johnathon.  
  
He wondered what she could mean because he had been born and raised in Coruscant, a city dominating by buildings. It was not lucous or green.  
  
********  
  
Anakin watched for a moment as his apprentice ran through the fields trying to catch a firefly. He was making an idiot of himself but at least he was having a good time.  
  
Padme looked at Anakin before softly kissing him. Within half a second they were making out. Anakin's lips bruised into hers. It was like they melted into eachother.  
  
Finally Padme broke it and smiled.  
  
"What was that for," asked Anakin.  
  
"I just wanted you to know that I love you."  
  
"Oh, believe me, I know."  
  
********  
  
Padme would look back on good times like those and wonder how she could have thought it would last forever. She should have known this was the calm before the storm. All of the other things would pale until the time she thought she would break. And if she counted correctly there were nine months. Nine months before he purposely tore out her heart.  
  
Tbc 


	16. fate part 3

Words by Michelle Branch:  
  
I want everything and nothing at the same time.  
  
I want what's yours and I want what's mine.  
  
I want you but I'm not giving in this time.  
  
Goodbye to you, Goodbye to everything that I knew.  
  
You were the one I loved.  
  
You were the one thing that I tried to hold on to  
  
*********  
  
Third Month:  
  
Johnathon had long ago had gone to sleep and Anakin and Padme were sitting in front of the fire just enjoying each other's company. Padme remembered this as one of the last moments before all the secrets and lies started.  
  
"Padme, there is something that I have to tell you. You aren't going to like it."  
  
Padme looked at him and saw the look on his face. She knew whatever Anakin had to tell her could not be good.  
  
"Anakin? What is it? You know you can tell me anything."  
  
"I was contacted by the Jedi council earlier this morning. They feel your life is no longer in danger. And they have decided to bring me back to Coruscant," said Anakin.  
  
Padme tried to be strong, at least for him. He really needed her as much as she needed him.  
  
"Anakin, you have to go. You have a duty as well I do- Oh! Take me with you. Let me come with you," said Padme knowing very well that could never be.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I can't. But wherever you go I'll be there with you. Everytime your heart beats it'll really be my heart beating because we are one heart, one soul. You are my very heart and soul, my core existence. You are my reason for living," said Anakin with very strong conviction.  
  
Padme was deeply moved by his strong words. She couldn't help but cry at his words.  
  
"I love- you so much. You will never know just how much I love you. I love you, Anakin. I love you," repeated Padme over and over again.  
  
"I know. And I love you too. So everytime you feel your heart beating quickly or beating at all you will know it is really my heart beating for you, telling you that I love you and always will and can never even stop, even if I have to. I would do anything for you," said Anakin.  
  
"I know. I would do anything for you too. I- I can't let you go," whispered Padme softly.  
  
"Padme, I don't know what would happen if I never saw you-"  
  
"Don't talk like that. One day, we will be together, my love. One day we'll live in a world where we will be free to love. One day soon we can be together without hiding our true feelings of utter love and dedication to eachother," said Padme sadly.  
  
"One day we will do all of those things we dream about together."  
  
"Anakin, one day- we'll run away from this all. We'll go some place far away where no Jedi can touch us. It'll be you and me- forever and ever together. We'll lay in eachother's arms and tell eachother just how much we love eachother," said Padme softly.  
  
"It sounds very romantic, among other things. But some of those things can happen now," said Anakin.  
  
He pulled Padme in his arms and they layed on the couch, in front of the fire. He traced her jaw line finally resting on her lips. He lightly traced them before bending down and kissing her passionately.  
  
"Padme-"  
  
Padme cut him off with a passionate kiss. She didn't want to talk or think about anything. She wanted to push every single thought out of her mind, especially the one that told her that Anakin was leaving and she might never see him again.  
  
That night when they made love it was sweet, passionate, romantic, three in one. It was long. They searched eachother out as if this might be their last time together like this. They made the most of it because they both knew it might be. One things stood in the back of both of their minds, they might never see eachother again." ******  
  
Padme woke up that morning on the couch alone. Before Anakin had left he had obviously rebuilt the fire to keep her warm. Even if he was gone she could sense his scent.  
  
Padme sighed as she looked up to see what was covering her up. She looked around herself to see that he had left her his Jedi robe. She wrapped it tightly around her.  
  
"Oh, Anakin. I miss you so much already and you have only been gone for a few hours. Please come back to me. I would be forever lost without you in my heart."  
  
She felt the salty tears trickle down her cheek as she sobbed his name. ***********  
  
Anakin stepped into the Chancellor's office. He had to submit to him his report about his time on Naboo. But it was more than that. He also wanted to talk to him on a personal level.  
  
"Ah, so I see you are safe and sound from Naboo."  
  
"Yes, Chancellor."  
  
"You have seem to have risen above all the Jedi. They seemed to try to hold you back for years. They seemed afraid of you. They were afraid of what they couldn't understand. But I wasn't. I have always stood behind you during all these years."  
  
"I have always been grateful for your loyalty to me, Chancellor."  
  
"They don't deserve you. They are incompetent fools who held you back hoping to decrease your greatness. I never did that. I want to offer you the world, the things that you can only dream of."  
  
Anakin was very confused by this all. He had never in his life seen this side of Palpatine.  
  
"Sir, I am not sure if I really know what you are talking about," replied Anakin.  
  
"For now you are a Jedi, but if you join me we will rule the galaxy. We will be like a force that can never be stopped. I want to take you on as my apprentice."  
  
"I cannot nor will I join the Senate or anything else you are talking about for that matter. I am a Jedi."  
  
"Oh, my dear boy, this is greater than the Jedi or Senate combine. You have the same potential that my last student, Darth Maul had," said Palpatine.  
  
That last sentence caused Anakin's breath to be caught in his throat. He stared blankly at Palpatine. No, it wasn't possible. It just couldn't be.  
  
"No," said Anakin with doubt in his voice.  
  
"Yes, But you have more than the potential. You. You will go the whole way."  
  
"I will never join you. You killed Qui- Gon."  
  
Anakin turned to leave but was stopped by Palpatine.  
  
"After all I have done you dare to refuse me? I have done favors for you. Can you risk to deny me?"  
  
"Yes, I can. I will never join you because I am nothing like you."  
  
"Oh but you will join me. We are more alike than you wish to admit. The only reason you refuse this is because of Padme."  
  
Anakin turned to him with another blank look.  
  
"I know what you are thinking. How do I know? I know everything about your life? I have watched your every move through other people ever since the day you stepped through the doors of the Jedi council. I know you. I know your heart, mind, and soul, I know it all."  
  
"That's impossible. You are bluffing and you are crazy," said Anakin.  
  
"Do you love Padme? I don't think you do? Because if you did, you would join me. I will make you an offer you will not refuse. Padme is as good as dead."  
  
"What the hell did you do to her," demanded Anakin.  
  
His face flared up in anger. If Palpatine had killed her he would kill him.  
  
"Nothing- yet. That's good Young Skywalker. Allow your anger to serve you."  
  
Anakin gave him a hard stare.  
  
"I'll do anything you want. Just don't hurt her," pleaded Anakin.  
  
"I knew you would come to your senses. You are a smart young man. If you don't follow my orders she will die. I promise that. I have servants who work for her. But they really work for me. They will kill her the moment I say so," said Palpatine.  
  
"Fine. I'll do it. I'll join you. What is it you want me to do," asked Anakin.  
  
"You will leave for Naboo tommorow. I want you to break it off with her. I want you to break her heart. You are to make her believe you no longer love her, and never did."  
  
"That's impossible. She will never believe me. She knows me like I know her. She will know something is wrong."  
  
"That's part of it. You must make her believe it- Darth Vader."  
  
Anakin hung his head in submission, shame, and sorrow. But he knew one thing. He was dong this for Padme.  
  
Tbc 


	17. betrayel part 1

Padme tossed and turned in bed. She just could not sleep. Every thought turned to Anakin. She always worried about him. Then her thoughts would turn to tears and she would sob and sob.  
  
The air blew in her room. Her heart stood still as she heard footsteps. Damn it. All the servants were asleep and she had no one to call too. But her heart was stuck in her throat as she saw who it was.  
  
"Anakin."  
  
He just stared at her not saying anything. He had a blank look on his face. He had changed so much. It had been almost nine months since they got back together.  
  
Anakin watched her stare at him. She was so beautiful it was painful. But more than anything it was painful what he had to do to her. But he had to do it. He had to do it for her. This would destroy her but maybe someday he could come back to her and explain everything.  
  
"Padme, we need to talk."  
  
She jumped out of the bed and practically threw her arms around him in a firm embrace. Anakin held on to her tightly knowing this might be their last. He had o tell her everything now.  
  
"Padme, this won't work."  
  
She looked up at him smiling.  
  
"I know what you mean. I can't stand to be away either. I missed you so much. Did you miss me?"  
  
She looked deeply in his eyes. Whenever she did that he always had to answer her and tell the truth.  
  
"Desperately."  
  
"Show me."  
  
As Anakin pulled her into a deep kiss he knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew he was only complicating things between them. He also knew in the end it would only hurt her, but he couldn't stop. He loved her.  
  
"Hmm, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. Every night I would just dream about you. I would just think about you," said Padme in-between kisses.  
  
"Padme, I would never hurt you on purpose. I- love you," said Anakin as he sank himself inside of her.  
  
"I love you." *********** Ninth month:  
  
Padme entered the darkened room that Anakin had been in for hours. Lately he had been slipping away from her. He pushed her away and acted like she didn't matter.  
  
"Don't come any closer," came Anakin's dull voice.  
  
"Anakin, what is wrong? What has happened to you? Why are you acting like this."  
  
"I don't think we should see eachother anymore."  
  
"Anakin, are you feeling alright?"  
  
Anakin thought maybe he could have done it with a gentle approach, but now he saw he would have to completely break her. He didn't want to but if it mean she would be okay he had to.  
  
"I feel fine. I wanted to love you but I can't. I thought I could make myself feel love for you, but I can't. I thought we could be happy together, but I found out we can't."  
  
"Why are you doing this."  
  
"You deserved to know the truth. I never loved you and I know I never will."  
  
"I know you do. What has happened? Tell me!"  
  
"I told you. I can translate it into another language if you like but it will still mean the same thing, I don't love you."  
  
"What about everything we ever shared? Are you telling me you are just going to throw it all away? Please, don't do this. Don't push me away. I don't want you to leave. If I had a chance I would have you stay forever. Please, I am begging you. I love you."  
  
Anakin was desperate now. He had to make her believe it. He had to save her, damn her feelings, and damn his.  
  
"You don't get it! You were never anything to me! I wanted to posses you in bed because no man had ever! Have some respect for yourself and stop pushing yourself on me. I don't want you because I have already had you. Now your no good. You're- you're- nothing but a whore," said Anakin as he started to cry.  
  
"I know you don't mean that."  
  
"I do, Padme. I can't lie to you anymore."  
  
He saw the tears in her eyes and had to do something.  
  
"You don't want me. I'm damaged goods."  
  
"We're all damaged goods."  
  
"Please, don't do this! Don't love me because I don't love you- anymore. No! I never did! I- just let me go!"  
  
"Why are you doing this? Look at you. You're usually calm and collected. But now? You're crying and stuttering over every other sentence. Get out!"  
  
Anakin nodded his head as he slammed the door behind him.  
  
Padme threw herself on the bed and began to shake violently as she cried. She never believed she could cry so hard. Why? Why did he hurt her? She knew deep down inside that he loved her. She felt his pain when he tore her heart out.  
  
********  
  
Anakin hung his head in shame. It was pouring down rain but he didn't bother to go inside. He had nowhere to go anyways. He let the rain soak him threw. It touched his heart. The only thing that warmed him was his salty tears.  
  
It was almost daylight. Anakin could feel his heart beating strongly, with anger. He was angry at the world. He was mad at Padme for believing that he didn't love her, and even angrier with Palpatine for making him make her believe it.  
  
*******  
  
Three Days Later:  
  
Anakin looked at the ship, the one that would take him home to Coruscant. It was funny. He no longer considered that building-wasteland his home. He realized something. Wherever Padme was that was his home.  
  
Anakin wished he could see her just one last time. But he knew that was completely out of the question. That would be going against the rules of the game. He had already pushed it by having sex with her for a week before telling her it was over.  
  
That's what it was to Palpatine. It was a game, a game of power and trust. It was just a stupid game, a game he couldn't get out of and now he was stuck.  
  
Anakin turned around to see Padme. At first he thought he was dreaming but it was really her, dressed in a raincoat when it was raining.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
He looked closely at her and saw how red her cheeks were and how red her eyes were. Her eyelashes clamped together. Also he could see she hadn't slept in three days.  
  
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and never did. I can't believe you possibly meant everything you said the other night."  
  
"Padme, this is rediculess. I said everything I had to say the other night. We're over. That's the end of the story."  
  
"Do it. Look me in the eye and tell me."  
  
Anakin sighed. He knew his eyes would be jumping from place to place and he would be stuttering his heart out."  
  
"Padme, I don't love you and never did."  
  
Anakin's cold demeanor and the coldness in his eyes told her that he didn't love her and never had.  
  
"Good-bye Padme. I hope you got all your answers."  
  
Padme turned around without looking at him. If she had turned back around she would have seen Anakin looking after her and crying. **********  
  
Padme layed on her bed just letting her tears fall. She felt like she was completely dead. She had completely shut the outside world out. She was always moody and wanted to be left alone. Sabe didn't even know what was wrong.  
  
Padme sighed knowing she was just torturing herself. But she couldn't help herself. She was dieing inside and there was nothing she could do. ********  
  
Padme walked around in her room. Anakin had been her hero while their relationship had lasted. He taught her how to truly love and to never give up. But she had known it would end like that. Every man was like that. Why should Anakin be any different?  
  
She once again felt the salty tears pour down her face.  
  
Oh, but she had wanted him to be different! What a fool she had been! Who would truly love her anyways, not Anakin. She had painted a picture of true love. She had let Anakin make her something more than she really was. She had let him tell her she was beautiful and special. Maybe it was true and maybe at times he meant it.  
  
But now this is all she had to show for it. She was a broken down girl with a broken heart. She had left herself open to anyone who would work hard enough to unwind her. Anakin had just taken it for his own.  
  
Anakin had smashed her heart into so many tiny pieces she had no idea how to put them back together. She wasn't all too sure she really wanted to do that.  
  
Padme smirked at how stupid and ironic she was really being. Hell, maybe it was even pathetic or unhealthy.  
  
No matter what Anakin had done she was still deeply in love with him. It was impossible to just turn off her feelings.  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was messy and she was torn.  
  
"How could I have been so stupid? I was easy. I came from the same background he had, rich. He had everything he could want. Why would he want me. He knew how to destroy me. He was the one person I loved and trusted completely. I was a fool to think that it could possibly last forever." ******  
  
Sabe walked in with water.  
  
"Here, drink this."  
  
Padme shook her head, as she grabbed the liquor bottle.  
  
"Oh no Padme, you are not going to be drinking- not for awhile."  
  
"What is the big deal?! HAND IT OVER!"  
  
"What a normal sign of pregnancy!"  
  
"What the hell did you just say?"  
  
"You heard me Padme! You are pregnant. And let me take a long wild guess- Anakin is the happy Father.  
  
*******  
  
Anakin looked at Palpatine in his office.  
  
"My men have told me you completed your task. I am most exceptionally proud of you. Maybe the life of an actor would suit you even better. At least, now, I know you are of great use to me. While you were gone Johnathon was in excellent care. He doesn't know it but he is also preparing for the life of a Sith- just like you when you were his age. One day- we'll be one happy family."  
  
"I will never join your side in my heart. I have made a commitment to the Jedi, one I cannot break. I will always be a Jedi."  
  
"You surprise me Anakin. I really did expect so much more from you then this. I thought you would be thankful for all the trouble I go to for you."  
  
"I should be thankful? You ruined my life! You continue to do it? What's in it for you? You know I will never join you, really. My heart, my bond is with the Jedi."  
  
"You are quite an amusing young man. I realize why you are quite the charmer with the ladies. And you used your past against Padme- and now she has nothing left. You completely burned her out. You didn't even leave her anything. You took away her respect, honor, heart, soul. Now a dull and sullen woman replaces her. Instead of courage and love, it's fear and hate. You did this, all in one. It's truly amazing what love can do to you. I honestly thought you didn't have it in you."  
  
"I didn't want to, but YOU left me no choice! I would do anything for Padme, anything! I love her! I loved her yesterday, I love her now, and I'll love her tommorow. Hell, I will be able to say that phrase until the day I die. The worse part was looking in her eyes and telling her I didn't love her when the truth was I wanted to make love to her over and over."  
  
"Ah, but you won't love her forever. When you told her you didn't love her I almost died. I thought I would have to kill her, but as long as you always do what I tell you to you will live two lives, that of a Jedi, and one as my apprentice."  
  
******* 


	18. Betrayel part2

Anakin had been in the sourest mood lately. Even Obi-wan began to notice the change in the once happy and charming young man who came from the highest society.  
  
What could be making Anakin so unhappy? He had everything a young man could possibly want. He had beautiful woman who followed him around. He came from a rich family. He had a good relationship with everyone around him. What could possibly have Anakin acting like this. He couldn't possibly be having issues with anyone. He loved everyone and they in return loved him. All he did was flash his charming smile and people were stuck.  
  
There had to be something really wrong. Obi-wan didn't know what it was. Perhaps it wasn't even his business. He just needed to get Anakin out of his mood because above all it was affecting Johnathon.  
  
*********  
  
"Anakin, I do not know what is wrong. I cannot even remember the last time I lectured you, but whatever is going on you must put aside. The Senate will be here tommorow and I expect you to be on your best behavior."  
  
The Senate was going to be here? Oh, Palpatine would just be in heaven over that idea. Anakin sighed deeply as he realized what that also meant. Padme would be here. He hadn't seen her for a month.  
  
"What are you, my Master still? Ofcourse I'll be on good behavior. I'm not twelve anymore, incase you haven't noticed," said Anakin sarcastically.  
  
Anakin began to mutter to himself as he walked down the hall.  
  
"Don't you dare walk away from me. I am talking to you?"  
  
"Really," said Anakin as he turned around, "I hadn't noticed. But who cares? Not me," said Anakin. **********  
  
Padme was in the middle of making a big speech in the Senate room when the Jedi entered. There were three of them, but no Anakin. She was relieved at this. She really was in no mood to face him at the moment.  
  
Two seconds later Anakin walked in, as if to contradict her. She watched him. He looked mildly depressed. But no matter what she didn't let this interupt her speech.  
  
"I beg you to plead my cause."  
  
She finished up her speech and watched as Anakin drummed his fingers on the table. She was embaressed when she had been caught staring at him.  
  
One hour later:  
  
"This meeting is adjourned until tommorow. We will meet at the same time. I am late for another engagement."  
  
'Ofcourse you are. You are probably busy tempting other people to the darkside, so they can be forever miserable,' thought Anakin to himself.  
  
All of the Senators cleared out except for Padme leaving her alone with Anakin. Anakin saw her hunched in a corner looking like he was in pain. He could go over and see what was wrong. Just by being concerned did not mean he loved her. Besides he needed to make sure okay, damn Palpatine.  
  
He walked over to her. She clutched her stomach as if she were in slight pain. She looked at him.  
  
"Are- you okay?"  
  
"What does it matter? You don't care. If I was about to be murdered and you had the power to stop it, you would turn and walk away. It's what you're good at. No, you don't care! You're cruel! Leave me now!"  
  
Anakin felt pain at her words because they were anything but true. He would go to hell and back for her. He seriously would. After all that had happened he was still madly in love with her. He was like a caged animal. His tormented him live for her. No one could ever know what he truly felt for Padme. He looked slightly upset on the outside. But on the inside it was tearing him up. On the inside he was slowly dieing.  
  
"Come on, Padme. Get some sense. I don't want you dead. I mean I would like to be friends with you again. I mean, after all we were once Best friends. I don't see why we can't be friends again," said Anakin.  
  
He acted like it was any kind of a big deal to say these words to her. But it was. He couldn't be her friend. It just would never work. He couldn't even describe his feelings on paper for Padme They were completely overwhelming. Words that described what he truly felt for her were not invented.  
  
"You want to be friends? Let me tell you something about friendship. Friendship is never based on secrets and lies, and you did both to me!"  
  
"And you didn't?"  
  
"I never betrayed you. I thought I could trust you. You ere the one thing I always could trust and hang onto. You took my hope away and stabbed me in the back. I trusted you. I trusted you to be there for me and you weren't. You made me feel like a dirty whore."  
  
"Look, you don't-"  
  
"I don't understand? No you don't? I don't care to understand you or your little feelings. I believe you were born without one. And at one time mine belonged to you. I don't care about you or your feelings because mine sure as hell don't mean anything to you."  
  
Anakin had enough. He turned to walk out. It seemed the only thing he could do. A angry voice stopped it.  
  
"Yes, Anakin, you do that. Run away. It's your true talent. You abandoned me as a kid, and now that we are grownups you have abandoned me again. But now there is no turning back. Good-bye Anakin. You are dead to me! As far as I am concerned you have never existed in my life!"  
  
Anakin left this was far too much for him. The pain was too great. He went to his room and did something he rarely did. He cried. What was the matter? This is how it was supposed to do. He was practically owned by Palpatine.  
  
**************  
  
Padme could not believe she was having this conversation with Sabe. Had Sabe completely lost her mind? How could she possibly be suggesting what she was?  
  
"What? Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Wait, that's a rhetorical question. I can't just tell him," said Padme sadly.  
  
That's exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to tell him everything that was going on. She kept on telling herself that he wouldn't understand because he was not the same man who had been her best friend and whom she had fallen in love with.  
  
"Padme, I know you think it's a hopeless cause, but listen to me. I know in his heart of hearts that he loves you. He always had and he always will. You know that. I know that. And I know he knows that. He's fighting something. Someone has to save him. If anyone can do it, it would be you. He loves you."  
  
"He no longer loves me. He fucked me. I was his whore, someone he tossed away when he got tired of her. He got tired of fucking the same person over and over. And that's what I am now. I am so tired. I feel lifeless. I feel like life has no purpose or meaning. I no longer care. I care about nothing. I don't care if he knows or not. I am so sick of loving people and never having them love me back. I am living without living. The other night I almost killed myself. I look in the mirror every day and see someone I no longer want to see. I feel like I always felt like I wasn't good enough for him, but now I know I'm not. When you have a child you pour yourself into them. You pour in love strength, everything. I have nothing to give to this child. My soul is gone."  
  
"You have love."  
  
"What is love without passion? It's just words made to make something that really happens to be nothing. Everything that was once inside me is gone. I am dead. I died the day he told me he didn't love me. I have no love for this child. I have nothing. And you know what makes it so bad? I don't care? I am truly a horrible person. I'll tell you why. If I had a miscarriage I would be glad. I am truly evil and awful. But what's even worse is I don't care. I've given up on life."  
  
"He has to know. Somewhere the fire that you once had still lives. Help him find his way. He's lost too. I know it. You have got to tell him."  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
Sabe and Padme stood staring at him.  
  
"Um- remember that thing I had to do?"  
  
Sabe rushed out of the room.  
  
"What do you have to tell me Padme?"  
  
"Anakin, I know you'll hate me forever for this but I have to tell you. There's something you need to know. I've kept it from you long enough. Okay, here goes. Anakin, I'm pregnant."  
  
Tbc 


	19. betrayel part 3

A/N PLEASE READ MY NEW STORY UNDERNEATH THE ARGUMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE?????????? I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL! IT MIGHT EVEN INSPIRE ME TO UPDATE THIS STORY MORE OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anakin's head felt like it was going to explode. For possibly the first time in his entire life he had no idea what to say. If things weren't so screwed up he would be so damn happy. This just wasn't possible. This really couldn't be happening?  
  
Dealing with Palpatine trying to kill Padme was bad enough. There wasn't any way in hell he was going to subject a child to this. The child was innocent. He knew what they had to do what he had to do.  
  
"We have to get out of here now. You have to pack your bags. We have to leave. We can leave tonight we have to," rambled Anakin.  
  
Padme had considered several scenarios of how Anakin might react to becoming a Father, but this by far, had not happened to be one of them.  
  
Anakin wondered why she could not stop staring at him. In any other circumstance he would have been flattered. She looked at him as if he were an alien to her. He might as well have been. What he was saying was making absoulutely no sense to her whatsoever. She was completely convinced that he had lost it.  
  
"Anakin, slow down. I just told you that you are going to be a Father! I didn't tell you that someone was trying to kill us. Why are you telling me to pack my bags? What the hell is wrong with you? What has happened to you? Have you completely lost whatever is left of your mind," cried Padme.  
  
"Padme please just listen to me on this one. I know you are the most stubborn person in the world. God, everyone knows that. We have to get out of here now! There is no time for questions. You are just going to have to trust me on this one. You must trust me on this one" pleaded Anakin.  
  
"I guess that would be the main problem. I don't trust you. I don't trust a word that comes out of your mouth. I also have absoulutely no intention of running away. I'm not going anywhere with you! I should have known telling the truth to you was a mistake. I never should have told you," said Padme angrily.  
  
"You should have told me from the beginning! I would have found out eventually! I had the right to know. I really did have the right," said Anakin.  
  
"Like hell you did! How would you have known it was yours? It could have been anybody's. After all I am a whore, aren't I? How do you know it's yours? After all many other men have touched me, haven't they," asked Padme sarcastically.  
  
Anakin felt himself going insane with jealousy. He couldn't bear to think of another man kissing Padme, let alone touching her. It drove him crazy. It also hurt because he saw how hurt she was.  
  
"I may have said that but you have to know that I never really meant it. I didn't mean to go that far. I guess I wasn't really thinking."  
  
"That's not the point. I am going nowhere with you! I hate you! There was a time when I would follow you to the end of the earth. There was a time when you were everything to me. I was living a fantasy. You destroyed that person! You destroyed me. Now I trust no one, especially not you."  
  
"Padme, I would hate to force you, but if I have to I will pick you up and I will drag you!"  
  
He watched as Padme gave him a stubborn look. He shook his head dismissively.  
  
"Oh well, you could have gone on your own." He used the force to put her bags together.  
  
Padme tried not to let the good feelings take over her as she was in Anakin's arms.  
  
"We're about to go out there. Everyone is asleep. You might talk but I don't recommend it."  
  
"I might scream," whispered Padme.  
  
"I've been known to have that affect," he whispered.  
  
One Hour Later:  
  
Padme sat on a bed that was on the ship as she watched Anakin pace around the ship. He was seriously about to drive her completely nuts.  
  
She was in a ship with Anakin, the man she currently despised. She was going God knew where with him. She seriously doubted that life got much crazier than that.  
  
"Anakin Skywalker for the love of God would you please tell me what the hell is going on with you? Why the hell did you force me to run away with you? Not only that, where in hell are we going? I have the right to know," shouted Padme.  
  
"Damn Palpatine. This is his entire fault. Never mind Padme. I can't tell you. If I did your life would be in more danger than it already is. I could tell you but I can't."  
  
"Palpatine. What the hell does he have to do with any of this? My life is so worthless that if you don't tell me what's going on, I will kill myself now."  
  
One Hour later:  
  
Padme looked at him with tears crashing down her face. At first she was able to hold them back but now she couldn't stop them. They fell freely down her cheeks.  
  
She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what she could say? What could she say to him? She just stared at him dumb founded.  
  
"How could you do this to me Anakin, how? I loved you. I would do anything for you. I believed you. We were not only lovers but best friends."  
  
"Padme, this was something I had to go through by myself- "  
  
"And not once did you tell me. Why Anakin? I don't understand! How could you do it? I never would have been able to do what you did in one million years!"  
  
"I did it because I loved you. I loved you. I know what we had is gone but I am so sick of lieing to you. Every lie I told you slowly killed me."  
  
"Oh, there you go again! You do what you always do. It's what your best at doing. I hate to break it to you but this isn't all about you. It's about us, and how you destroyed it. You tore it in two! I would accept your offer of friendship but I don't trust you. That's the key ingredient to any relationship! It is all about trust! You didn't trust me!"  
  
"Padme that is not how it is. This isn't about trust!"  
  
"Oh you are so blind! It is all about trust! You didn't trust me enough to tell me! You looked me straight and the eye and you lied to me. You lied as if it were nothing. I don't care why you lied. It really doesn't matter. All that matters is the fact that you did lie. You lied to me! And that is something I will never forget."  
  
"Stop it Padme! Stop it! I couldn't tell you the truth! I told you the whole story! He was going to kill you! I would do anything to keep you safe! I would even rip out my own heart. And that's exactly what I did. You were my heart. You were my heart."  
  
"I don't care about that. That doesn't matter. I don't care about the dangers! You lied to me. And nothing will ever change that. You ruined me Anakin. You made me feel like I was nothing, like I was a whore. Why are you telling me this now? What, did you think by telling me all this all would be forgotten and that I would welcome you back with open arms? No, we lost something amazing. And we'll never have it again."  
  
"I realize what I did was wrong. I had no choice. You will hate me more after I say this, but I would do it again if it meant you were going to live," said Anakin.  
  
Padme gave him a look before going in one of the ships' bedrooms. Anakin just watched as she retreated. How the hell had things gotten like this?  
  
*********  
  
Johnathon watched over breakfast how Padme and his master ignored eachother. He wished there were something he could they. They either argued all the time or didn't speak at all. It was driving him completely crazy.  
  
Anakin watched Padme. Her ship was so big that it was quite easy for her to avoid him. She wasn't even speaking to him anymore.  
  
Padme helped herself to her fifth seconds in food. She was still so hungry. She was also a little happy today. She just found out some great news from the room that served as a library and hospital wing.  
  
"What Anakin? Can I not smile? I am happy today! You are not going to ruin it for me! I just found out that my child is going to be a girl?"  
  
"Your child? Incase you didn't realize it, she's my child too. I am her Father as you are her Mother," said Anakin sternly.  
  
"No you are not her Father. As soon as we get to wherever the hell we're going I am leaving you. The child won't even so much as know that you exist," yelled Padme.  
  
Padme got up and stepped on the wet floor. She started to go away and as her pace quickened she slipped.  
  
"Oh My God!"  
  
*************  
  
Padme layed hours later in her bed by herself. She couldn't bear for anyone to see her or be around her. She just needed to be by herself. No one could see her like this, out of sorts, sad and confused.  
  
Every time she thought she could cry no more, even more tears would come. It was like a continuous current of water. She really didn't care though. Let them come. She really didn't give a damn.  
  
She missed her child. Her child would have been a beautiful girl. She would've had Anakin's blue eyes and her hair. Maybe it would've been the other way around. She really didn't care. In truth she wanted that child more than anything did. It was the last part of Anakin she had left.  
  
Padme had bitterness towards Anakin, but she didn't hate him. She could never hate him. He was the love of her life. He was her equal, her other half. She was still in love with him. Her love for him was like a candle that had been burned out. The fire had burned for so long and it was blown out.  
  
She heard a soft knock on her door. She was sad and needed someone, anyone right now. She watched as Anakin closed the door behind him and layed beside her. He was surprised when she didn't resist when he brought her into her arms.  
  
"Padme, I am so sorry about earlier. If I hadn't gotten mad at you any of this would ever happen. I am so sorry. I know you must hate me more than ever now," said Anakin.  
  
She turned around to face him. She felt herself being drawn in by his blue-gray eyes.  
  
"I don't hate you. Even if it were your fault I wouldn't have hated you Anakin. I could never hate you."  
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck, as her eyes felt heavy. She started to fall asleep as he rocked her to sleep whispering reassuring words in her ear. As she was almost asleep she heard his last words.  
  
"I love you."  
  
She wasn't sure if she were dreaming or not. She just knew that she was exhausted and couldn't dwell on Anakin's words. She had never been so tired. She sank her head on Anakin's chest before allowing herself to fall asleep. She had never felt this safe in a very long time.  
  
******************  
  
Padme woke in Anakin's arms. He was already awake and just studying her like she was a god, the picture of perfection. What she didn't know was that in his eyes she was.  
  
"I feel so sad, so alone. I know I would've made a good mother. I feel like everything in my life is now gone. I feel as if nothing matters. Time has no beginning and no end. I'm just a useless person walking around. She would still be alive had it not been for me."  
  
"Padme, this isn't your fault. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry you know. I miss her too like you do. I know she would have been really beautiful.  
  
"You must feel relieved now Anakin. Tell me something, what are you going to do about Palpatine. You're going to have to face him sooner or later, you know."  
  
"Yes, I know. Now isn't the time. One day someone will rise and destroy him. That person hasn't come and neither has the time," said Anakin.  
  
"Anakin, listen to me. Would if the time isn't right. Think about it, you could be that person. He sought you ought. He saw you to be powerful. He knew he'd rather have you as a partner than an enemy," said Padme.  
  
"Then why did he come out and tell me at all? I know he's smart. He's very smart. He had to have some sort of reason, but what? I'm not the one Padme. I'm just a coward. Everyone calls me the chosen one. How am I the chosen one? Yes I'm chosen for pain and suffering."  
  
"Anakin, I once loved you. You are an amazing man. That's the thing about you Anakin Skywalker. You're not always there when I want you to be, but you're there when I need you to be."  
  
"I failed Padme. That's what I do. You lost your Baby. That was my fault. You lost me. That was also my fault. I've lost everything."  
  
"Maybe, but like me you'll find some way to survive. I promise you will," said Padme.  
  
"Will it really."  
  
"Anakin I need you to leave me alone for a few days. I need to be by myself without you. I need to be with someone I can trust. And right now you're not that person. So, please get of my room," said Padme.  
  
She didn't miss the look of pain on his face. Right then she could really care less how he felt at all. She didn't care at all. She stopped feeling al but pain at that very moment.  
  
"Padme, I'm not so sure that's a very good idea. I think you need someone to watch over you right now," said Anakin.  
  
"If I needed anyone at all, which I don't, it would never be you. You're no protector. You are just the man that cracked me, that broke my soul. Unless you want to cause more pain get out."  
  
Tbc  
  
A/N: Padme is pissed as a Mother with our cute jedi-boy! I can promise you they will adventually. In the next few chapters we're gonna have a lot of Anakin trying to get her to forgive him (Wink) and her trying to remain mad at him and to resist him. Anakin has to win her trust back. 


	20. earned1

Anakin hadn't seen Padme for a week. She had cut her self off from the world. The only thing that ever saw Padme was R2 because he delivered her food to her. She wasn't ready to see anyone. She wasn't ready to face anyone, especially Anakin. She knew that after he left her room he might never talk to her again. His last straw most likely had been when she said he was good for nothing, because that was when he finally left. She remembered the conversation.  
  
Conversation:  
  
"Pain? Yes, I realize I am causing pain."  
  
"Then get the fuck out before I really lash out. You do not want to know some of the things I have been holding back from saying to you. I want to hold it back!"  
  
"Say it Padme, I dare you. I'm not made out of glass. I'm not going to break. I'm strong!"  
  
"Oh, yes, you are so strong. I remember our last conversation as a couple. You were so strong then."  
  
"Look who is talking Padme. You were crying hard. You wanted me to stay because you wanted me. If anyone was breaking that night it would be you, not me."  
  
"Since this is obviously the time for confessions, here goes. I thought I could never live my life without you. I thought I needed you. I realized I was wrong. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. I found out how my mother survived her marriage to my father. She found other alternatives. She let others touch her, people who meant nothing to her. She had sex with anyone she wanted."  
  
"As fascinating as that is we both know that isn't true. You wouldn't be able to let another guy touch you. You would flinch away from his touch because you would know that you belonged to someone else," said Anakin in a low seductive voice.  
  
"I belong to you? Just up! I am not some sort of trophy! You know what your problem is? You are arrogant. You think that everyone needs you that they can't survive without you. Let me help you take a step into the light. You are nothing. I hate you. I detest to you. You are nothing now and never will be," said Padme harshly.  
  
"Padme what the hell has gotten into you? Why are you acting like this? This isn't the way you usually act. Why are you this bitter? I don't even know you anymore!"  
  
"How could you? All you care about is yourself. You are good for nothing at all!"  
  
**************  
  
Anakin's head felt as if it were going to explode. He hadn't talked to her in a week. He missed her. He needed to talk to her. He tried talking to her the first night on the ship but he hadn't gotten through to her. This time he would at all costs.  
  
He walked into her room. She hadn't even noticed he was there. She was sleeping so deeply that Anakin didn't really want to wake her, but now she was awake. There were circles under her eyes.  
  
"Anakin! What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear I don't want you in my room. Stay out of my life."  
  
"I can't Padme."  
  
"What do you mean you can't? I'll tell you what you obviously mean. You won't."  
  
"You're right Padme. I won't. I won't stay away. I know what I did hurt you. It hurt me so deeply to do it. I did it because I loved you and didn't want you to be in danger. I did it because you were going to die. I did it because I would do anything for you. I would kill for you. I would go to hell for you. The minute I met you in the bar my life was yours. My life was all about you. I've thought about you every day since I hurt you. I still think about you. I still love you. I know you plan to be mad at me forever. I am just asking you not to hate me, to let go of your anger. You can hate me for the rest of your life but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not going anywhere. You can say anything you want to say, but I will not leave. I love you. I deeply love you. I always will. I will spend the rest of my life earning your love. I just thought you should know that."  
  
Without waiting for her reply he left the room. If he had looked back he would of saw the tears on her face. She couldn't speak. She could barely think. She hated Anakin. She hated herself even more for loving him.  
  
******************  
  
Two Weeks later:  
  
Anakin and Padme, along with Johnathon had lived in the city of Jeselia for about two weeks. Padme was settling in nice. Anakin liked it as well. Johnathon knew how to settle himself anywhere. The town was so small hardly anyone knew it existed. It wasn't part of the republic in the least.  
  
Anakin and Padme had probably the nicest house in the city. It was secluded from all the other homes. It was an estate built with iron gates around it.  
  
Padme loved it. She loved her home. She knew Leia would have loved it too. That's what she was going to call her. If it had been a boy she wasn't sure what she would have named her. She was counting on it to be a girl.  
  
Anakin had begun to drive her absoulutely nuts. He was worse than when he had first pursued her before she told him she loved him all those months ago.  
  
It was just little things. They were eating he might lick his lips and smile at her in a sexual way making it obvious he had far from forgotten about her. One day he started to play footsie with her under the table. There was also the day when she got mad at him and hit him. He used it to his advantage by pulling her to him. He gave her the best kiss he had ever given her. It had taken all of her willpower not to give into him.  
  
Padme wanted him. If he thought he could win her back he had another thing coming. There was no way in hell he thought he could possibly attempt to seduce her and then she would come running in his arms.  
  
WARNING PG-16 (if there is such a thing)  
  
All of that paled to what awaited her in her room. There layed Anakin in all his naked glory. Padme had forgotten how perfect he was, how defined. She had a sudden urge to run her fingers up and down his chest and to just kiss him all over.  
  
Anakin smirked up at her as she let her eyes roam his body. She rolled her eyes when she saw that grin of his that she hated so much.  
  
"See something you like my love?"  
  
"No. Put your clothes on Anakin. And I'm not your love," groaned Padme.  
  
"Really," said Anakin as he came up behind her to whisper in her ear, "I beg to differ. You are very much my love. I heard you the other night. You were yelling at one of the maids and telling her that she could not sleep with me because I was yours and that you loved me."  
  
"That was a lie. You must have been dreaming," said Padme.  
  
"I seriously doubt it. Johnathon heard you. He was whistling when he heard it. I believe his exact words were 'Oh no, I'm going to have to deal with Pregnancy hormones again.' I just came here to make it all come true."  
  
"Dream on Anakin. I am not going to have sex with you. I told you last week that when I trust you then maybe I might let you in again. You haven't earned it yet, so no, I am not going to be with you."  
  
"You will adventually."  
  
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving her room.  
  
*************  
  
Padme walked down to dinner to see it was just Anakin. There had to be candles everywhere in the room. She hated to say it but it was beautiful.  
  
"I remember when you we were kids. You said having candles everywhere is just romantic. Sit down. Johnathon finished his food already."  
  
"Anakin, what are you trying to pull?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Hmm, but the question still remains. Do I love you?"  
  
"Oh you know you do. Everyone does. You can't live without me. Admit it Padme, we all know you love me. Now all you have to do is admit it to me."  
  
"I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but I don't love you and I can live without you."  
  
****************  
  
They both sat in front of the fire. Anakin could not take her eyes off of her. He didn't want to. He didn't want her to go away. HE wanted her to be with him forever.  
  
"Anakin, stop looking at me like that. All of this nonsense needs to stop. What we had is gone. You destroyed it. I loved you. Now what we have left is nothing. Please, stop this. You're relentless pursuit is wearing me down," whispered Padme so softly it was almost inaudible.  
  
"I can't. I don't know how. How do you just let go of love?"  
  
"Do what you did a few months ago. I can't be with you. It hurts. Everytime I try to move on all I can think of is you. You are in my heart and you won't leave. I deserve to be able to move on. I deserve to be with someone who I can trust. As sad as it is, all I want is you. I can't have you. I know you think I am just being stubborn but I want something true in my life. I'm sorry that it just isn't with you."  
  
"Padme, I love you. What you say isn't true. You can trust me. I did what I did to protect you! I did what I had to do. I would do it again. I really would. I did it because I love you. I love you. I can say it a million times and it still won't change the fact that I passionately love you," said Anakin.  
  
"You still don't get it! It doesn't matter why you did it. You lied to me. I don't care. You lied to me. I cared about you. I trusted you. You didn't care you had to hurt me. I don't care about being protected. You lied to me. You hurt me on purpose. You called me a whore, all that to keep me safe?!"  
  
"Yes. I would do anything for you. I would give my life for you. You have got to know that after all of this time," said Anakin.  
  
"But I'm not asking you to give your life for me. I'm not asking for you to protect me. I wanted you to be honest to me. I wanted the truth, but you lied. And now it's too late. It's gone. I don't know if I could ever find it in my heart to forgive you. I don't even know if I really want to forgive you. I don't want to. You deserve my anger. I am mad. I really am," said Padme softly.  
  
"I realize all of that to be true. It's okay to be angry. I know that in your heart of hearts you know you could eventually forgive me. I think you might even want to. What about love Padme? Can you answer that question?"  
  
"What about love, Anakin? This has nothing to do with love. This has to do with the fact that I am angry and you think you have the right to ask me to forgive you."  
  
"Padme, answer my question, please. Do you, Padme Amidala, love me?"  
  
"I- I don't know Anakin. I don't know if I love you anymore. I don't know if I could love you anymore. I don't know if I should love you Anakin."  
  
TBC 


	21. earned2

Anakin was sound asleep in bed as Padme helped Johnathon with his school work. She could not get over the fact of how smart the young boy was.  
  
"Okay, this math is boring. We've been going at it for half an hour. Can I please have a break? Besides I could use a snack I'm hungry. Where's Master Anakin? Oh well, who can blame him for sleeping so long," said Johnathon dismissively.  
  
Padme turned t him with confusion in her eyes. "What are you talking about? What do you mean Anakin doesn't sleep well anymore. Is there something wrong with him?"  
  
"You don't know about his sleeping habits. I heard from one of the maids that they hear him up all of the time. They said he sits by the window looking so sad. You may not notice, Padme, but I think he's slowly burning out like you have."  
  
"What do you mean that I've burned out?"  
  
"You used to be so full of life. You used to be so happy. That's how you both used to be. But after you lost the baby all you both do is fight and fight. I wake up at all hours of the night to hear you screaming at oneanother. Why can't you just admit that you two need eachother? I haven't seen him smile in months. He really misses you. He loves you. I won't tell him, but I know you love him too."  
  
"You don't understand. Things are so complicated with him right now. I mean I don't know if I can even trust him anymore," said Padme.  
  
"How could you not trust him? He would risk his life for you. He would let his life change for you. And he did. He trusts you. Besides, trust is like this, it's a leap of faith that has to be made," said Johnathon.  
  
"Trust can never be a leap of faith. Trust has to be earned. Like you trust me and I trust you. That was earned. You didn't just decide to trust me."  
  
"Actually I did. I took that leap of faith. I took a chance because Anakin had. He had given his heart to you, his soul. He loved you then and he loves you now."  
  
*****************  
  
Padme woke up the next morning to the scent of Roses around her. She opened her eyes to reveal she was litterally in a bed of roses. She looked around. It smelt so good. She felt a smile tug on her face.  
  
"Anakin, Anakin, Anakin, just what am I going to do with you," whispered Padme to herself.  
  
She turned to her side. What did she want from Anakin? What exactly did he want from her? And what about Johnathon? This whole thing had a impact on him? Their fighting had an impact on everyone.  
  
Padme got out of bed and headed downstairs to see it was just Anakin and that John was obviously gone already. Breakfast was on the table and he kept staring at her intently.  
  
"Good morning Anakin."  
  
"Did you like my gift from this morning? I believe I out did my self."  
  
"Hmm, well Anakin, it was okay to say the most. Why I'm here to talk with you, is about Johnathon," said Padme.  
  
"Johnathon? What about Johnathon? What does any of this have to do with him," asked Anakin clearly confused.  
  
"He and I talked the other day. It is affecting him. He hears us arguing. I know it bothers him. What can we do?"  
  
***************  
  
Anakin had finally had it with that woman. She was simply impossible. She was the most stubborn person. She drove him absoulutely nuts.  
  
He only had a few options left. He decided he'd use the most effective one. He'd make her jealous. She'd go crazy on him. Perhaps she'd come back into his arms.  
  
************  
  
Padme sat on the beach chair by the pool as she watched Anakin. Just who the hell did he think he was? How dare he? He had no right at all.  
  
The maid smiled as Anakin touched her arm and kept on smiling. He was giving her instructions to leave but from where Padme sat it looked like he was whispering sweet nothings in her ear.  
  
Padme couldn't stand it any longer. She didn't care that it was obvious she was jealous. That woman had no business touching her Anakin. She was so upset she didn't realized she had referred to him as hers.  
  
"Padme, hi."  
  
"You are dismissed Rosa."  
  
"Yes, Mam," said the maid before scurrying off.  
  
"Why did you dismiss her. I was having fun. Oh well I guess I could always summon her to my room later. I'm willing to bet she'd touch my whole body."  
  
Without thinking Padme tried to hit him. She missed and almost toppled over. She clung to Anakin who wasn't prepared. As she fell into the water with him she felt her hand s around his neck as they came back up.  
  
Anakin looked down at her. She was once again back in his arms. He settled her on his lap and wrapped his hands around her waist as he leaned her back against his defined chest.  
  
"Anakin, what are you doing?"  
  
"You were jealous, my love. Don't worry I would never touch her. There's only one woman who can touch my soul. She loves me but is afraid to get hurt again. Someday she will be my wife. Just let me love you. I am begging you to allow me to love you. If you can't do that then just let me prove myself. Give me a chance," whispered Anakin in her ear.  
  
One week later:  
  
Padme could not believe she had agreed to Anakin's idea. She wanted to with him but she didn't. She loved him but she wasn't ready to let him love her yet.  
  
A neighbor in the town had invited them to her party. The neighbor like everyone else in that town believed them to be married newly married. Padme knew he would use that to his advantage.  
  
**************  
  
Padme sucked in her breath as she heard her bedroom door open. She had spent hours getting ready. Why did it even matter to her anyways? She watched as he walked in. He surveyed her as if he was a hunter and she was the prey. She watched as he approached her. She found she couldn't move even if she wanted to.  
  
Anakin finally reached her. He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. He smirked slightly at the look on her face. She looked like she wanted him to kiss her. He decided to tease her. He bent down to her ear and slightly licked it.  
  
"Do you know just how beautiful you look tonight? You must have spent hours getting ready. Is this all for me? If it is you don't have to work this hard. Just tell me you want me."  
  
Padme jerked her head back in order to look at him. He was just like her. He was starving. They needed eachother. One question remained, how much longer would she be able to resist him?  
  
"I have plans for you tonight Padme. By the end of the night you will be mine, not just for now, but for all time. Don't hide your desire for me. By the end of the night we'll have what we've always wanted eachother."  
  
Padme shivered at his words. They held promise. She felt herself leaning into him for support.  
  
*****  
  
Two hours later:  
  
Padme walked in the house. Her feet were so tired from the night. She tried to calm down herself. She was sexually aroused from Anakin pulling her close everytime they dance. The worse part was that he knew it too.  
  
Anakin made sure he was right behind her, less than an inch away from here. Yes, he definitely had plans for her tonight, that was without a doubt.  
  
Padme opened her mouth to say something, anything. She quickly shut up when she felt Anakin pick her up. She was inches away from his face.  
  
He didn't want her to say anything. He didn't want her to ruin the moment. He had to stop her, as she was squirming in his arms. Before she could say anything, He lay a forceful kiss on her lips.  
  
She tried to push him back but he was stronger than she was. She panicked for a second but knew it was foolish. Anakin would never hurt her. He would never do anything to her she didn't want him to.  
  
That was her turning point. He drew back and just looked in her eyes. She wanted to cry from what she saw there. She saw true love there.  
  
After a few seconds, she kissed him back. How could she ever have that that she could make herself believe that she didn't love Anakin, so why even try making him?  
  
Padme's kiss caught him by surprise. He wanted more than anything in the world to give into his kisses but if he wanted his plan to work he had to let her go.  
  
He broke it off.  
  
"What? What's wrong Anakin?"  
  
"I can't have you like this. I'm seducing you. When your ready come to me."  
  
************  
  
Padme sat in her room fuming. She had never been so mad at him. She had wanted him. She would have let him take her too. He actually expected her to beg? Well, he must have lost his mind because she never begged.  
  
"Well, he didn't tell me to beg. He said to come to him. Fine I'll go to him, but that doesn't mean I have to like this. We've played by my rules for so long. It's time to play by his."  
  
Padme would go to him. She would make everything right between her and Anakin. What's more was she would give into temptation. She would let him love her. She would submit herself to him. That's what he wanted.  
  
*******************  
  
Anakin smirked when he heard the knock on his door. He had known she would come to him. She couldn't possibly resist him. He knew she would be his once again when she layed her head on his shoulder when they danced at the party.  
  
"Hold on."  
  
"No I will not hold on," said Padme from the other side.  
  
"Boy, aren't we- demanding," stuttered Anakin as he took in her outfit.  
  
Padme entered his bedroom and took a seat. She made sure she locked the door.  
  
"I'll lay my cards on the table and then you can lay down yours. First of all I love you. I am so sorry I hurt you. I also want you to know if you give me a chance I won't screw it up. I promise. I love you. I'd do anything for you," said Anakin.  
  
"I know. I love you too. I know you're sorry. Anakin I will give you another chance because I need you. I don't know what it is about you but I need you. I can't live without you. Everytime I look at you I fall in love with you all over again. I promise that I'll always love you."  
  
Tears were streaming down both of their faces. Anakin picked her up and began to twirl her around. He was so happy. Sometime as he twirled her she wrapped her legs around his waist. Anakin just twirled her around faster until they had fallen back on his bed.  
  
Every touch brought back a memory: The first time they made love on Naboo, the lounge in front of the fire, and the first time he told her he loved her.  
  
That evening the ice around her heart broke. Every kiss made it melt further and further until it was burning, burning for him and his love for her.  
  
She cried as he touched the places that were once only his to touch. She cried as she came to him. She cried as he told her of his undying love for her.  
  
Not once did Anakin break eye contact with her. As he came to her his heart was open. He was once more alive. He loved her and she loved him.  
  
He kissed up and down her neck in a sensual way. It didn't matter what part of her body he touched. He loved her whole body. He didn't leave one part of her body untouched. He worshiped her being.  
  
He touched her soul again and again until she lost all sense of reality. They were all that existed. They were all that mattered. She felt Anakin draw her into a soft kiss. He pulled her so close. It was as if their skin were cemented together.  
  
She fell asleep that way. And for the first time in the longest she was at peace. She had Anakin, which meant she had everything she could possibly want in her life.  
  
************  
  
Padme woke up to find a heavy arm around her. It gave her a sense of security. She felt him wake up and pull him on top of her.  
  
"Did you sleep well my love?"  
  
"Yes, I did. How about you."  
  
He didn't bother to answer the question but he did bother t start licking and sucking on her ear. He went from her ear to her neck then to her lips.  
  
"I love you," he whispered against her lips.  
  
"As I love you."  
  
"Padme? I have to ask you a very important question. Padme Amidala I know I should be on my knee but will you marry me? Will you stand by my side as my wife forever?"  
  
Padme turned to him with tears in her eyes. She had never been so happy. He had asked her to marry him. Did he really have to ask? He had to know her answer.  
  
"Yes, Anakin. I will marry you."  
  
He gave her a tight hug.  
  
Tbc 


	22. the wedding part 1

Padme had told everyone in her village that Anakin and her had been forced to marry in secret. Ofcourse that had gotten the entire woman in her town excited. She invited them to her "second" public wedding. She was so excited about this.  
  
Anakin was feeling beyond annoyed and overwhelmed. It was always something new. He had to wonder if it was that time of month for Padme. Seriously, this was worse than when she was pregnant. Okay, maybe not that bad. He remembered a conversation the other night.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Padme: I don't know why you're complaining, Anakin. You don't have to do anything to make this wedding go smoothly. All you have to do is be there.  
  
Anakin: That's not true.  
  
Padme: Oh wait, I forgot. You and your men have to get measured. Oh, and wait you have to contact our parents. I know that is so much work now isn't it. It must be horrible. Let's see what I have to do-  
  
Anakin: (Muttering) here we go.  
  
Padme: What did you say? I have worked so hard, so you are going to listen to me.  
  
Anakin: (talking to himself) She always makes this a bigger deal than what it really is.  
  
Padme: I really hope you haven't developed a habit of talking to yourself over night. That would be just horrible. Lucky for you I didn't hear what you said.  
  
Anakin: Yup  
  
End of flash back  
  
  
  
"Oh my God, Anakin! What are you doing here? Leave! Go! Go do something else. It's bad to see me the day of my wedding. Can you imagine what will happen to our kids? I mean-"  
  
"Relax. I just wanted to wish you good luck out there. It starts in an hour. Oh, believe it or not both of our parents came. Isn't that a miracle in itself?"  
  
Outside the church:  
  
"This is all your fault. This never would have happened if your whore of a daughter didn't break up with that rich King! Now she's getting ready to go in there and ruin my son's life," yelled Merideth Skywalker.  
  
"Oh, you have some nerve! It's the other way around!"  
  
"Oh, no it is not! You're daughter is nothing but a gold digger!"  
  
"Oh you better shut it! You had better! You think I want this?"  
  
Anakin watched from the entrance as the two mothers battle it out. This was something he didn't see everyday. The wedding reception would most deffinitely be something to remember  
  
*************  
  
"We are gathered here today to witness the coming together of two people, Anakin and Padme, whose hearts and spirits are entwined as one. They now desire to profess before the entire world their intention henceforth to walk the road of life together.  
  
To these two young people, this marriage signifies the birth of a new spirit, a spirit which is a part of each of us, yet not of any one of us alone. This "birth of spirit" reminds us of spring, the season when all life is reborn and looms again. It is appropriate, therefore, that this wedding of Anakin and Padme be in the spring, and that it be under the open sky, where we are close to the earth and to the unity of life, the totality of living things of which we are part. The beliefs and thoughts about love which motivate these two people are perhaps best expressed in the words of poet Kahlil Gibran:  
  
'You were born to be together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in your silent memory. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heaven dance between you. Love one another, but make not bondage of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread, but eat not of the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping, For only the hand of life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together, For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in shadow.'  
  
Do you Padme knowing this man's love for you and returning it, realizing his strengths and learning from them, recognizing his weaknesses and helping him to overcome them, take Anakin to be your lawfully wedded husband?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Place the ring on his finger."  
  
"Do you Anakin, knowing this woman's love for you and returning it, realizing her strengths and learning form them, recognizing her weaknesses and helping her to overcome them, take Padme to be your lawfully wedded wife?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Place the ring on her finger. Let these rings serve as locks- not binding you together-but as keys, unlocking the secrets of your hearts for each other to know, and thus bringing you closer together forever.  
  
And now Anakin and Padme, seeking the fulfillment of love and marriage, find again that the poet Gibran speaks for them:  
  
"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks to another day of loving. To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home eventide with gratitude, and then sleep with a prayer For the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."  
  
Vow No. 2a - Bride to Groom  
  
I, Padme, take you Anakin, to be my lawfully wedded husband, secure in the knowledge that you will be my best friend, (you are my best friend.) my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special and holy day, I give to you in the presence of God and these witnesses my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.  
  
Even as we grew up together we were the best of friends. I always remember comparing everyone to you and not knowing why. Now I know. You are truly the love of my life, my soulmate," said Padme as she tried to hold back her tears.  
  
  
  
"I, Anakin take you Padme to be my lawfully wedded wife, knowing in my heart that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special and holy day, I affirm to you in the presence of God and all those in attendance. This is my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful husband in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I promise to love you without reservation, honor and respect you, provide for your needs as best I can, protect you from harm, comfort you in times of distress, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.  
  
I remember when we were kids. I always admired everything about you. When we met after all those years I remember suddenly needing you, loving you. I love you Padme."  
  
"Without further ado, I pronounce them husband and wife."  
  
As the two kissed they missed the smirking jedi Padawan.  
  
"Took them long enough," said Johnathon. 


	23. Wedding part2

Obi-wan had spent months looking for Anakin. People had told him to give it up because either Anakin was dead or he had disappeared off the face of the galaxy. Anakin couldn't be dead. He didn't die. He had left and he obviously didn't want to be found. Where was Anakin? What had happened to young handsome man? Those were questions that were on everyone's mind. Everyone told Obi-wan he had duties as a Jedi and to just forget about Anakin. After awhile he had tried. Then one day three weeks prior to the wedding he received a coded message from Anakin telling him to come to his wedding. And that was where he was at the moment.  
  
He watched as the young couple danced happily. They deserved eachother and all the happiness they could possibly get. They had gone through so much and now they were getting married.  
  
Then Obi-wan turned to a table where four people were sitting. He recognized one of the ladies to be Anakin's mother. He remembered that woman more than he would like to. Parents weren't aloud to even visit their children but even the Jedi masters couldn't keep that woman away from her son. She was loud very opinionated and close minded to what other people thought. The other woman must have been Padme's mother. Neither woman looked happy. That would be putting it mildly. Obi-wan guessed that both Mother's were upset about their children's wedding.  
  
"And you just sat there! And Richard, you call yourself my husband. You just sat there and you allowed our daughter to marry this- this- man! I want them to get it annulled right away."  
  
Meredith smirked at Selena. Both women at one time had been very good friends. Now they had the perfect strained relationship. When they saw eachother they made a point of getting into a fight or another. Both men knew better than to intervene. If they did the wrath would be turned on them. That was the last thing they wanted.  
  
"Don't you dare insult my son! It's that daughter of yours. She broke his heart and seduced him because she wanted a part of our family fortune," said Merideth with a disgusted look on her face.  
  
"Oh, don't you- oh! Take a look at my family! We have all the money we could possibly need or want. It is not about the money. And it is your son's fault! Look at him! He broke HER heart! And then he dragged her off to a foreign country I had never heard of until I heard from my daughter."  
  
Obi-wan shook his head in slight amusement. Their parents were sure something else. Their parents didn't seem to give a damn what happened to them unless it threatened their pride or family fortune in some sort of way. He really didn't want to imagine family reunions would be like in the near future or in their case most likely the far future. That would be a site for all to see.  
  
Obi-wan was shaken out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of running. He saw the Julia had left her place by him because she saw her brother. She hadn't seen him for so long. He knew how much she had missed him. He watched as the two tightly embraced.  
  
"What are you doing here? I thought I would never see you again! I missed you so much," exclaimed Johnathon.  
  
"Well, we came for the wedding, silly. No, we came here to buy a new light saber. I thought I would never see you again. I know you missed me. I missed you too. How come you never wrote," asked Julia in a slight hurt tone.  
  
"I would have if I could. You know that. I couldn't though. It was too dangerous. Palpatine could have found out where we were hiding and he would have sent his men out here," said Johnathon.  
  
She hugged her brother again. She had missed him more than words could describe. She knew she would see him today and she could hardly wait. During the wedding ceremony it had taken all of her will power to run over to him, but she couldn't. She would ruin a part of the wedding. If that wasn't bad enough she knew far too well that she would never hear the end of it from Master Obi-wan.  
  
Obi-wan was mad enough at her as it was. She really didn't need to do more to piss him off. She wasn't even supposed to go with Obi-wan to the wedding in the first place. She was supposed to stay in the jedi temple and train under Yoda. She knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't miss an opportunity to see her brother. She just couldn't. She hadn't seen him for almost a year and she wasn't about to miss her chance at seeing him now.  
  
She sometimes envied her brother. He had it easier than her. Master Obi-wan was too strict at times. He was like a father to her but he expected too much. He knew Anakin was the opposite. She knew that was why the Jedi order was not sure about turning him from a padawan to a Jedi. He had done it though. He had passed every test.  
  
Julia smiled at that thought. Ofcourse he had deserved it. He deserved every amount of happiness that ever came to him. She watched him as he danced with his bride. They really did make a lovely couple. She hoped it lasted. She couldn't put her finger on it but for some reason as she sat next to her brother she felt uneasy. For some reason she felt like someone was there who really shouldn't be there, someone who was going to harm someone.  
  
********************************  
  
Anakin looked down at Padme. He could not keep the grin off his face. This was truly the happiest day of his life. She was now his wife and nothing could ever come between them.  
  
Padme looked at him. She never imagined anyone could make her this happy. To her this seemed like a dream she was about to wake up from. If this was a dream she really never wanted to wake up.  
  
"What are you thinking about," asked Anakin.  
  
"I'm thinking about how happy I am and how I wish I could freeze this moment forever so you could just hold me in your arms the way you are right now."  
  
"Oh, but I can hold you like this forever, and I will."  
  
Padme sighed as he pulled her closer to him. It felt as if their bodies were one. She turned to see her mother and Anakin's as well bickering. They were most likely arguing over their children getting married. Padme tried mot to laugh at that thought.  
  
"Look at them. They are seriously losing it. I am going to go over to them and ask them if they would like to stay with us for a month," said Anakin.  
  
"A month? Are you serious? No, the better question to ask is if your crazy? There is no way that I am going to deal with my parents as well as yours for a month," said Padme.  
  
"Oh, is that what you think? Did I say that they would be actually staying? No, we're go over there and just watch them be uncomfortable as they try to talk their way out of it," said Anakin with a devilish smile.  
  
"Ah, now there's the Anakin we all know and love. We always were partners in crime. Remember what we used to say, partners in crime until the day we die? For some reason it has a sort of ring to it," said Padme.  
  
"Ofcourse I remember. And if I remember correctly I was the one who always came up with the plan," said Anakin smugly.  
  
"Okay, that is not true. And it is my wedding day so I am not arguing with you. Let's go over and talk to our WONDERFUL parents," said Padme sarcastically.  
  
"Will do."  
  
***************************  
  
Richard and Phillip were talking business while trying to ignore their wives, which was near impossible. They had decided since they were now all one family it was a good time to merge their businesses. With both of their prosperity put together who knew what they could accomplish. Unlike their wives who weren't happy with the marriage they couldn't be more thrilled.  
  
Phillip was very proud with his son. His son had finally grown a backbone and had done something great for this family. Even he wouldn't have thought of something like this. He should have, years ago. Anakin was after all a chip off the old block.  
  
Selena and Meredith stopped their arguing as their children approached them with grinning faces. Anakin made sure he sat right next to Padme's mother and Padme sat next to Anakin's mother.  
  
"Well, this is certainly unexpected," said Selena with a forced smile.  
  
"Well, I love Padme so I decided to marry her. I am very glad you four are okay with this," said Anakin with a smirk on his face.  
  
"We are very happy," said Meredith with a strained smile.  
  
"Ofcourse we are happy for you! Why wouldn't we be? You made the right choice," said Phillip.  
  
Anakin turned to Padme who seemed to be just as confused as him. Their Mothers' where evidently not happy. Their Fathers' on the other hand where a different story, a different story entirely.  
  
"Anakin, I know you will make my daughter very happy. Even if you don't love her now you will grow to love her. Phillip this was the work of you I assume?"  
  
Phillip saw what Richard meant. He thought he had set up the marriage with his son. No, his son had done it all on his own just for the family name sake. And why shouldn't he? Anakin deserved the best? And what was Padme? Oh, she was deffinitely the best. She was well bred respected and beautiful.  
  
"Oh, Richard you really do give me too much credit. You are to see what I mean. It was Anakin's doing."  
  
"Father, I do not know what you mean. I love Padme. I fell in love with her," said Anakin earnestly.  
  
"Oh Mom, Dad, Meredith, and Philip, Anakin and I would like to extend an invitation to the four of you. We would like you to stay after the wedding with us," said Padme gracefully.  
  
Selena and Meredith looked as if death was at their doorstep. They were trying to get controle of themselves by taking deep breaths.  
  
"Absoulutely n-"  
  
"We'd love too," said Phillip and Richard at the same time.  
  
While Selena and Meredith were busy giving their husbands death looks Padme was doing the same to Anakin. She was less than thrilled. That much was obvious. If looks could kill Anakin would be dead, but then again maybe Padme wouldn't have to. Maybe there was someone who blended in with the guests who was uninvited, someone who wanted to and would kill Anakin. 


End file.
